-Leaving My Mark-

Seorang insan yang bernama kekasih

2010-02-25T09:05:00.005+08:00

Assalamualaikum..

diri ini rasa bahawa ini bukanlah ini akhirnya sebuah cerita.. Malah suatu permulaan..
ku rasakan bgaikan ini semua adalah yang telah tersirat dan tersurat.. harus ku sabar menempuhi pelayaran ini.. untuk menuju kebaikkan.. buat diriku dan juga teman yang dikurniakanNya.. ku sedar betapa jauh kita telah pergi.. Cinta yang pada mulanya merupa kan cinta yang suci tetapi menjadi cinta yang tiada batas.. subahanallah..

syukurku padaMu Ya Allah dikurniakan teman yang melabuhkan cintanya pada-Mu, .. agar bertambah kekuatan ku untuk mencintai-Mu...

Teman
Inginku mohon ampun teman.. kehadiranku telah menyebabkan dirimu hilang.. terima kasihku akan semua yang telah kita lalui.. izin kan ku pergi darimu.. agar dirimu dapat meneruskan perjuanganmu.. InsyaAllah tak kan hilang cinta ini kepada dirimu..
akan ku rela semua ini.. mohon ampun dan maaf sekali lagi wahai teman..
sesuatu permulaan yang baru..

Bismillilahirahmanirahim..

Ya Allah.. sesungguhnya hambaMu yang dhoif ini bersyukur akan nikmat yang telah Engkau berikan padaku..
sesungguhnya semua ini ketentuanMu Ya Allah..
syukurKu kepadamu Ya Allah.. andai ini petunjukMu yang aku mohon selama ini.. akan aku redha dengan semua ini Ya Allah.. walaupun pilu rasa hati ingin untuk berbuat begini.. jika ini baik buat dirinya maka aku harus relakan..
jangan diriku yang hina ini menyebabkan seorang lagi hambaMu jauh tersesat dari jalanMu..
aku mohon akan keampunanMu ya Rahman..
andai dirinya tercipta untukku kan ku sabar merentasi dugaan ini.. kerana tidak terdaya diri ini untuk melakukan apa-apa selain kembali kepadaMu..
ku mohon agar Engkau kurniakanku dirinya sebagai teman.. jikaku bukan teman yang Engkau ciptakan buat dirinya.. maka Engkau kurniakanlah lelaki yang sebaik diriNya untuk perjuangan ini..

Amin ya rabb..

Tak ku bersedih malah gembiraku buatmu yang telah temui jalan pulang pada diriNya..
akan ku tunggu..

Yang tulus ikhlas dariku..
yellow eyes purple smile

Back ;-)

2010-02-21T22:45:00.004+08:00

Care And Love You

Assalamualaikum

Wasssup! Hows life people..
All fine I hope.! and yeah 1st and foremost 2 weeks! and im done with it!
Alhamdullilah after that, its time to settle my life down.. plan what to do and all..
I still have a life dream that has yet to start! dang that and this time is a need..
May Allah help me in this.. InsyaAllah Amin

Well ya its a short one for today.. haha well why yo all might ask?
cause its for someone..

7 was the number. 1st few was woow. Only Allah knows how it felt. Then i slowly thing and ya I guess theres truth in Absence makes the heart fonder. And ya InsyaAllah nw I pray that and Im gonna strive to make this right. Despite what can happen in future. Well they say we can mould the future so Im trying. But one thing for sure..
- we can plan as much as we one. in the end HE is the one who decides.
Back to the story. You know how much I miss you! =)
okay! ya this ones for you alright! =D

I

L
o
v
e

Y
o
u

well thats it for now

For you I will

well till here then

To be continued..

Simplified

2010-02-11T19:01:00.001+08:00

Assalamualaikum!

How y'all doing out there? Been busy hahs as you all can see thats y hasnt been any post... though there are a few in drafts..

Anyways...

Alhamdullilah, That He has guide as for now.. well at least for now almost everyone had a bit of a clearer picture of things just that now things felt abit diffrent although we had that meeting that nite.. nevertheless everyone had tell their points about how they felt on whats going on with us.. InsyaAllah it will be still be the old fityan with a new direction. Amin

haha for those whose like wth to e above para. Nevermind. Just know that politics sucks big time!

And yeap its alrdy at its 5th week (attachment) and the end is near.. Woohoo!
Ouh ya and also I have applied for polytechnic and as an average student, I chose to play safe and RP was what I chose and yes ALL 5 choices Rp!
Well its just a personal choice.. As long at the end of it Diploma Im more then contented. InsyaAllah I will get that place and if not...

Lets say hello to this thing call the National Service heard of it!? ahah
Im wondering what changes is Ncc undergoing? been missing alot of it. My No4 is somewhere I think.. but then again I think ive lost my touch..

What have been happening beside the above.. Well Kickstart 2010 had pass the other week.. ok la thats all i have for it.. And the rest of it is plain work.. and sadly im still complaining about my work when its already almost ending..

Ouh ya have to declare that

2010 equates- Change!

Yeap!

Well for now I just want things to pass as theres nothing much happening although theres something still I cant share much.. InsyaAllah years later maybe.. haha ok lame I know tell me about it..

So Ya thats abt it so far..

Oh Oh ya!

Im a happy guy today. I hope you do too!
Lets work towards it InsyaAllah... <3
Thanks for everything!
Have a safe journey!TC =)
Kk da go and pack! khekhekhe!

Well till here then

Absence makes the heart fonder

Till here then

to be continued...

Getting All Blury

2010-01-28T21:24:00.008+08:00

Its been a month to 2010 now. Everything seems to take its place now. Well one things for sure Change is the word. Alhamdullilah. From what I see everyone wants to change for the better. It got me thinking, everyone changing but why not me. Looking back the things that i have done. One things for sure I aint what im suppose to be. And yet I still take pride and say Im a mosque youth. May Allah bestow His Hidayah. InsyaAllah Amin!

Im glad in the midst of all this missing I can still depend on someone to help me 'catch-up'. Its only one month but i feel im losing out in alot of things. Family, friends and love ones.

Into the second month now. Alhamdullilah I've get the hang of things here. The workload which varies from nothing to alot of work. To the boredness of waiting and also rushing to get things done. Catching late nite trains is a breeze now. Sitting in train frm City Hall to Jurong East (red line) is a norm! Khekhekhekhe
I should say that i have to learn to bersyukur. As simple as that. While others are working their ass off for attachment. Mine, i consider as just passing the time.
With polytechnic application coming up. Ive made up my mind to actually go to Rp. Why you might ask? Well ask about my results in ITE then you know why! and also the course that I initially have interest 2 yrs Ago is there. Time to go for your passion Insya-Allah.

Classes

Every Tuesday Nite (After Margrib
Masjid Kassim (Dewan Solat)
cant remember the title but a weekly Class also
Ustaz Noor Deros

-Every Wednesday Nite (After Isyak)
Masjid Almukminin (Dewan Solat)
"70 dosa-dosa besar"
Ustaz Md Firdaous Bin Abd Rashiff

-Every Friday( After Margrib)
Masjid Assyakirin (Auditorum Lvl 2)
Fardhu Ain for Teens
Ustaz Md Firdaous Bin Abd Rashiff

-Every Friday(After Margrib)
Masjid Ennaeem
Y.O.U.R Night (Spirtual-tainment hang out session)
Ustaz Noor Deros

Fityan Assyakirin

Our Yearly BBQ event with a twist!

You know I want to change. Its just I always forget the dont's. Forgive me alright. Pray for me that I will be better. To be wary of my actions. Hope that you dont loose faith in me. With you, my family and the others Insya-allah. I shall be the guy that who guides someone to right path.
"Bukan nikmat yang sementara, tetapi nikmat yang kekal" Amin.
Guide me will you ? =)

May Allah Bless you readers out there...

Time to check on my Amals

Assalamualaikum

Well thats it for now

Mencari KeredhaanNya.

Till here then

To be continued...

Its Only The 1st

2010-01-12T00:54:00.004+08:00

Hey you people out there? Hows 2010 for you all so far? Hope is all good alrite...

And here we go...
Alhamdullilah 2010 isnt a bad one.

Attachment have alrdy started. Attached at Marina Mandarin Hotel as AV technician. Ok lah. Nothing good or bad just ok. Pays all good. Workload aint that bad at all. Just one catch, 6 days a week - 8 hrs per day. Tada! well and my off day aint on a weekend so now weekend equates to *poofs*. Also with this attachment equates to gaining weight like no ones business all i do is eat. Cool or what right? All and all work is okay... Just waiting for the 1st pay cheque to come. From there will see how it goes alright...

Im missing quite a big chunk of things Ncc, Fityan, WJLA! woah... Needs alot of catch up this shift thingy aint that friendly to my timing...

Eg Next week working at 3 till 11 maybe 12? and my off is on a thursday gosh.. there goes the weekend!

OK for the record those people who have yet to watch Avatar please do so! haha Its one Awesome movie!!! well i watch it for like alot of time! so yeah Go go go! Cause thats how i ended 2009... Just loving watching movie nowadays.

Yeap thats all the things so far... It has been a good one... InsyaAllah a fruitful and great year Amin...

This means so much to me. Each time I look into your eyes. I see us and the future. It seems so easy and this ride its only the beginning.

Its what deep within. Whatever happens you have my word that I will always Love You! Insyallah...

A whole new chapter of Yellow Eyes Purple Smile.

A short one! Cheerious

Well thats it for now

I wanna call the stars Down from the sky I wanna live a day That never dies I wanna change the world Only for you All the impossible I wanna do

Well till here then

To be continue

Too Oh Ten!

2010-01-02T02:45:00.016+08:00

Hey Ho!

Since its a new year i shall start a fresh and start to blog again...
Happy New Year One and all...

For a start people will have resolution or what not... who gives a shiat about all that? right tell me how many people actually follow their resolution for the year right? hahs well maybe there are some. For that 'Some' group of people kudos then! haha but people like me nahh i'll pass...

So whats 2009 for me.

(Its gg to be all over cause i cant really remember things in order)

Patience and wait that pays of for me. Thats to sum up everything. Besides that lost? Relatives passed on and made me realise life aint that long people. One minute we can be happily sitting laughing and all next thing you know poof can just go. When its time its time. haizz Well my NCC career so call take its chill moment during 2009. Yeah supossedly to concentrate on my studies but hack results wasnt on myside too GPA did drop and struggled with attandance. Debarred actually was a real threat this time. Fears was there then. hmm somehow i cant reflect on what happen during 2009. STM. ill try!
Closer with cousin from my dad side. Family spirit was in for quite sometime. WJLA had its up and down! Fityan Assyakirin had Ups and Downs too. New Excos joined the team. New faces on the members side too! Asian Youth Games was the peak for 2009! Well I made a friend from Brunei. And for the 1st time stayed in a Singapore hotel for free! how cool is that. Early morning duty. Fun and happy moments during duty.! Just plain awesome!Kite Flying became a hobby! and random outs became a norm! Arghh as much as I want to type alot here I cant. All thanks to this thing call STM!

One things for sure. I met Her.

Well it was a simple sweet smile that caught my eye. Started by a simple msn chat. Then nature worked its way out. Next minute we're going out. It was all smiles. Of course there were small fights quarrel but yeah its still strong. Its Deep inside our hearts! Yellow Eyes Purple Smile. Blueks Bleargh was part of our vocab! Khekhe became my laughters! Yeah all and all... Her...

Im sorry for all I have done that hurt you before this all the dissapointments empty promises that I made. Im sorry. As much I want things to happen the outings all butsometimes I just cant. I love you and I mean it! You know that!.. Its going to be hard for us this year. I hope you will have faith in me and go through this year together by myside. We may not be able to meet like we use to but you know I will always remember you! And i hope you do too! I will try to find sometime for you which I'm sure I can! Whenever your'e down jsut remember you are not alone! We've been through the 1st one together ? so this one Im sure you can nail it again. Trust me you can! InsyaAllah!

Well thats it for now

Cause I love you and I miss you, hearing your voice is the closest thing to touching you...

Till here then

To be continued...

In a While

2009-09-27T13:13:00.004+08:00

Hello all I think I wont be blogging much as you all can see... hahaha...
Well lets just say Im fine if you all are asking doing great...
Ermm
We'll be back when I feel like it...
Back in a while

C ya!

well thats it for now...

Only you in my heart now... Now till forever... Insyaallah!

well till here then

to be continued...

Alhamdullilah

2009-08-22T01:08:00.012+08:00

Its here... Finally... I get to meet THE month... Ramadhan! =)

Alhamdullilah

Well all this while one thing was on my mind... what if I moved on before i could even meet THE month... what if i have met death before I could meet this month... MasyaAllah Nauzubillah..
This few days that was what on my mind... What if I die a few days back or just now... haizz..
InsyaAllah and I must make full use the opportunity given by Him... Amin...

What i have been up too lately??

In a nutshell

-Qiamulaill @ Almukminin

-Asian Youth Games =)

-My Birthday!!! 18

-School

-MySpex

-Its all about Yellow Eyes Purple Smile

-National Day

-Cousin just got married.. Congrats Kak Adnin...

-And Another cousin of mine got married

-Fityan Assyakirin Night Cycling

-Fityan Exco Day Out!

Yellow Eyes Purple Smile

Awak tahu tak saya sayang awak... Awak sayang kat saya tk?...

You've been the only motivation for me since months ago... its been great having you around... well i told you how i felt... all the memories.... your my heart mind and soul... So I hope this isnt a dream at all.. InsyaAllah 020609, 080709, 190809

Ya Allah Jika Dia Benar Millikku Maka Satukan kami dengan ikatan yang istimewa... Jika tidak, sesungguhnya aku redha akan ketentuanmu...

Amin..

well thats it for now

Mengapakah dunia yang dikejari, Sedangkan ia kan ditinggal pergi, Apalah gunanya harta disisi, Tika jasad terkaku terkubur mati.

well till here then

To be continue

Did i just...Nvm i'll wait...

2009-06-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

Hello again...

trying to get the hang of blogging again... quite wierd nvm about that...

And results for Inter-Grasio... I lost badly 3-0... Same goes for my brother... well i think it maybe due to complacency and lack of training... still a good fight I guess... shall train harder next time... Next comp will be somewhere Aug i think not sure...

Right that went to Masjid for Fund Raising during syarahan... Reach at about 5 or so and hang around with fam and fique @ fityan Crib or soon to be... spend my whole nite at masjid... It was rather great... well reason being... each when im down and all... and when im at mosque its seem so peaceful... so relax and all... well maybe due to the company and all.. =))

Loving it...

Went Out to watch movie yesterday... Monster Vs Aliens... hmm okla... its funny but yeah ok... There are moral to it... Its just about being yourself and people will accept you ahaha yeah movie was great...

Then we hanged around at Lot 1 'sky garden' just talk... anything under the sun. From the past to the present... I was really trying my very to make sure there wont be like those awkward silence... ouh ya ahahah i realise I tell who I went out with rite???hmm lets just name her N.

ya I asked N out for a movie she agrees to it and we went yesterday like i said earlier... Yellow was the colour for the day... dont ask me why... but yeah... as i was saying we chatted till like 6 plus made our way to Masjid Al-Khir for prayers then made our way back to Lot 1 to just chill... i did enjoy her company... im not sure whether she did but yeah I did... should do this again i hope? insyaallah... had milo and fries... then we decided make our way back... like i said... at FB

A Great Day Indeed... hmm

Just A smile and you stole my heart.

You told me your story I told you mine... well if your not ready and all I understand and yeah i couldnt agree more with your stand and I respect that... But deep inside i know I have feelings for you and you do too? Maybe you can take me as your special fren im not sure... but what i know i will wait... maybe there are reasons why we met and all... yellow was an example yeah i know it was smthg small and insignificant... but hey truly ikhlas in being friends with you... thank you for telling me everything... apprieciated... thanks for your company too... I hope this wont effect wat we alrdy have now... each other... its a risk im taking but yeah i'll wait... and this time i really going to hold on to it... Insyaallah...

those three words

Ya Allah jika dia adalah yang terbaik untuk dunia dan akhiratku,maka kekalkanlah hubungan kami,dan hubungkan kami dgn ikatan yang istimewa,dan biarlah ianya berkekalan selama2nya..Insyaallah... Jika sebaliknya,maka pisahkanlah kami,dan hubungkanlah kami dgn ikatan persahabatan tanpa aku merasa sedih... Amin

i was browising thru some vids...

Here are some of it that i would like to share...

Smile...

well thats it for now

They say loving you gives pains and full of sacrifices But I'll rather take pains and lots of sacrifices than not to be love by you.

well till here then

To be continued

Whats Your Greatest Fear?

2009-05-06T00:10:00.010+08:00

Ya... i know... its been ages and this time i had to find my way here... alot of spider webs and all i had to clear...

So yeah!!! hellO to one and all...

Like finally la seyy updating.....

Alot been happening of course cause of the long hiatus period...

Let me start by saying that school is a total disaster in a sense that ive been coming late and even not going to school due to.... lazyness lor... but nevertheless test and all i have confidence in it like some people say its not good to A.S.S.U.M.E.....

And i got to start studying for theory... which i dont know when.. maybe need a study buddy ahahahaha anyone??? i got total 3 things to study... Storage Networking which is ok i think.. AIX IBM CONFERM FAIL... ahaha and IT security which ntah ahaha too many things to remember... i wonder how the hell hackers can like remember all that shits... haixxx hahaha lols...

Next up... NCC... so call all the things that got to do with it... hmm

Im selected for NCC Day Parade as a Pacer which is great.. ahah theres no need for me to endure the pain of standing and all... I'll be by the side and just stand there till inspection and loving it!!!

Other than that... Last week issit? We had MR SPENCER'S LEE ORD Bbq @ WCP... which i think was quite a blast although not as kecoh and all but the company was awesome... He made a speech and all.. haha it was great... and i think im not sure... but yeah... We thank MR SPENCER for his service to West district and now the baton is being pass to our new TCO 2LT Jonathan.
I personally welcome him ahaha... although its like alrdy late but nevertheless yeah ahahax... and i have yet to get any pictures from hashim or should i say Ustaz Hashim.. ahah kinda use to it...

And on top of that... i feel like i had enough of NCC ah... should i stay or should i go....??? helmi amcm ckp? ahahah lol..

Ouh ya... NCC Hq wont be as much fun now i think... well u can see people going to ORD and all.. ahaha soon there wont be bunk brudders anymore.. ahaha or kampung melayu i should say...

MI Carnival.. ahah another great one...

well i saw my bestfren ok we chatted like for awhile only i walked around... didnt get to like walk around MI and all cause rushing for Taaruf Fityan event... yeap it was nice.. ok this i got pics!! ahahx

Next up!!! FITYAN ASSYAKIRIN!!!!

Well i tell ya Fityan now its like part of my life already... its in ME... alot of events had happen and going to happen yeah... let me trace back....

Ok I went to recce a camp site for our new annual overseas camp... @ KEM KAIZEN!!! and this camp im sure its going to be a blast!!.. Me, twin, Ustaz Darwis, Fam, and Din...when to this place to look around... i cant find the pictures but yeah it was great cause 165km/h at Malaysia highway= SUPERB....

Before TA'ARUF i went for mosque cluster Qiamulaill.. ok la.. ahah pics do the talking this one...

next was TA'ARUF another blast event for me...

well it started out pretty much slow but yeah i did all kinds of lame things to hype it up and all!!! and everyone got into the mood.... U gotta agree on this one TRUE3... khekhekhe... yeah...

Well i was the photographer plus... The Lame Guy... Plus ape lagi ehk Logistics tak... hmm ouh emcee like for awhile only... and yeah at the end of the day one word BLAST!!!! food was great as in the 'Orang2' ahah ok guys u should know what im refering too...

We played Whacko, goose2 smthg... then had this mini amazing race or i should say puzzle hunt and muslim thinkers game... which then came to the great part of the day ... the Curtain game issit? with a little twist to it... water bombs were added to it.. ahaha.. and we had like moments than after it was like WAR ahahah and as usual i took a whole bucket and ran... ahahaha cool rite?? then we had another one the flour... this time was no game... it was me fam and fatin.. ahahaah fatin was like no im a good gal.. the next thing was ehk lets go!! ahahahahaha so imagine ah IMAGINEE!!! alrdy wet frm the water bombs plus flour?? what do u get?? jemput-jemput?? haahx ok lols... and then head back to mosque wash up then comes the GREAT DINNER!!! AWESOMEST DINNER ahaha... like i said earlier the best Fityan meal ever... ate and ate.. woah super full then had lucky draw before ending it...!!!

Pics shall continue..

and yeap.. SILAT... im down for this Inter -Grasio... and im super not ready.. help!!!... I doubt i can WIN.. although my name is hazWIN ok LAME -_-... yeah this sat is my match ... im goona so need luck!..yeah Doa kan daku wahai sahabats!!

As u can see.. That life now.. that is why ive not been updating and all.. i have yet to include the emo moments and all maybe later...ya... On a serious note... this past few weeks or days.. its been great y?? ask me if you want to know... late nite chats never ending conversation... laughters lameness imitating... ya... and those three words... its been hard for me... to identify certain things.. but hey.. i think i shouldnt rush things... lets just get things into place... plus if she is mine... she will be?? hahx "kalau jodoh tk kemana" a line that i strongly believe... and yeah i hope its true cause cocking up... making wrong moves sucks big time... i keep seeing her smile in my dreams... woah... heavenly...but its killing me!! darn it... i could loose a friend again like i always did... Im afraid to say that i love you... but yeah i do have feelings for you... knowing you was the best thing that happened in my life... i surely hope to get to know you more better...

"Ya Allah jika benar dia milikku maka dekatkan lah hati nya dengan hatiku"

ahaha ok.. im done...

and expect another long break cause i doubt i can keep this blog alive but i'll do my very best if there are readers... which i doubt... only like for some.... and i would like to thank evryone and all

cause this is my 100th post ahaha achivement sia.. i manage to reach 100 cause i doubt i can like keep this blog running alive...

Well thats it for now

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel

well till here then

To be continued...

My Own Prison

2009-04-27T09:07:00.005+08:00

After a good story telling the other day... i realise that what im trying to do is basically not helping me at all... well i have yet to share the full story behind the whole thing... nevertheless after a good reflection im just a plain stupid... now i know why... i think...

All the insecurity is building up inside me...

I always ask why me and not them and its been always about me or not???

Then people start telling me why ask 'why me?' why not ask 'why NOT me?' and in the end i will start contradict myself again and again without fail!!! and there maybe a reason why i have failed in love or why love failed me... this past few weeks have been and eye opener and i must see things in different perspective from now on...

Alhamdullilah...

after all this mess i realise that all this problem is given by Him Allah s.w.t... so why not i refer back to him like what 'Ustaz' Hashim our dear WJLA bro always say... as a good muslim we must always remember that all this obstacle and problem is from Him so we as humble servant must always remember him 24/7... A good example would be your teacher gave u an assignment and when you do not know how to do it, we dont bother to ask your teacher the one who gave the assignment but you ask your friend who your teacher gave the same assignment to do... So its a now use i f i have a problem eg this love shit... ya ... and i go all over asking people for opinion yes is ok but I forget that the one who decides is Him... So ya.. u get me??

I havent been a good humble servant... and still i procrastinate day after day but in actual fact we do not have the time at all... Insyaallah from now on I will try my very best to do things that we have been told to do as a humble servant... like the simplest of 5 prayers a day i cant a even do it... Im A Sinner and its time to change.. Insyaallah...

Tuhanku aku tidak layakuntuk syurgaMu
tetapi aku tidak pulasanggup menanggungseksa nerakaMu
dari itu kurniakanlahampunan kepadaku
ampunkanlah dosaku
sesungguhnya Engkaulah pengampun
dosa-dosa besar

And maybe this is the reason why things havent gone my way... maybe this is the reason...
Ustaz Fatris Bakaram once said that Allah will always remember you and Is your duty to remember him.. And When U Forget about Him and He will Remember U and Then Forget About U..
Think about it..

Well now i just hope that I Allah will give His hidayah to me... and be a better Muslim Insyaallah...

Its been a wild journey and I will keep my feelings inside me... No use rushing to things... well all this is exprience i guess thats why we have people at the age of 16 or so already a couple and stays that way 20 30 years later...
If you are fated to be together then you will be... If not then too bad... cause it just wont happen...
and the result this... Impulse decision and everything is true love to you because you cant make up your mind... each time there is a little spark between you and a girl... its love... well thats why there was one time I so call fell for my best friends and nearly destroy the friendship... 10 years of friendship could have been destroyed by a stupid feeling called Love...

gotta be sure of my decision now... no more impulsive decision... To my WJLA bros... do me a favour by reminding me of my stupidity or what not... thats y we are bros for rite?? lets all be a good muslim together me make a diffrent but still make people happy to get what i mean?? haha

Its been nice... and i hope that all this will happen and no more procrastination no more...
Its time for a change....

No Sacrifice No Victory

well thats it for now

No matter what happen or what going to happen next... this feeling is still inside me... I will keep it in my heart as my little wonders of life...

Well till here then

To Be continued...

Exsanguination

2009-04-22T15:51:00.002+08:00

Ive always wondered that the that i am doing are they really helping or just to destroy other people plans... Ive always wanted to help but I guess sometime i overhelp or busybody I supposed... I only wanted to help...

I think i helped enough... thats why I end up screwing up my friends plans and all... and out of the days why must it be today?? I had plans for today but i got no mood for it so ya f-it... so ya i cant keep secrets???... i would like to apologize for causing problems and all... like I say i was just trying to help...

Well just chill it...

Whats done is done i supposed...

like i always say Shit Happens.. Flush It Away...

Besides I have other probs to settle and I think Im in deep SHIT yet again...

Yeap...

And i think im over and done with love!! for now that is.... As i think it could be misleading here and there.. people getting wrong messages... thats life eyy... never the less thats life rite?? again like i say!

Shit Happens Flush It AWAY!!!

Yeap yeap...

A short one just to make sure this blog aint dead.... Nahh aku da update... ahahahaha

Personal Note..~
just gotta make sure I Hazwin Bin Ibrahim... Wont Post Or Write Misleading post in the blog...
or people would get the wrong messages!!!

Feel shitty rite now and literary want to SHIT!!!!

Woah ok for the 1st time I think this blog post is all over the place.... due to unforseen circumstances...

To My WJLA bros the numbers now is Back to 5... tk paham tanye aku HUAHUAHUA

well thats it for now

I guess to assume things was so very wrong. My bad..

well till here then

to be continued

Only from the heart you can touch the sky

2009-04-21T00:21:00.008+08:00

The more i think about it... the more complicated it gets... I just dont know what to do and all...

been unconcious for quite a while.. finally the blog is alive...

Life full of shit as usual... and yeap i was in camp for 57th that was one of the reason why im not updating and secondly i dont really have anything to update...

57th was really quite an exprience for me... well like i say on my other post each day was quite a day... and esp the last few days of the course... things started settle and its ending... if u guys get what im trying to say... wanna more ask me...

let me just talk abit about 57th... the pop nite was a banng! it was pretty exciting... well of course almost wjla was there except for helmi.. and yeap it was a pretty nice ending to the 3 weeks course... the parade was ok not that great... and the syndicate performance was ok wanna know what was thing for the nite..

Us the instructors...

Man for the few practices that we did i think the performance was pretty awesome... yeah you can look for the performance at WJLA blog... its there and facebook too... and it was pretty much highlight for the nite...

Ouh ya.. She was there.. didnt talk to her or even say hi or did i? nvm bout her... she was happy and yeah thats it... After all that went to hang out and BB MacD... chill for the nite when hme at 2 3 plus...

School started a week ago... and damn its pretty hard this sem.. and impt sem to be exact if i screw this sem up thats it... NS for me.. gotta do well and go for poly... alot fo Computer shits to do IT security some AIX Programme ya alot more... and im still not in any mood to go school... draggin myself each day to school... shall try my very best to yeah study motivate myself blah blah blah...

I have a feeling that i had enough of my passion... its slowly burning off maybe due to the ppl i dont know... maybe its just me who had enough of the whole thing... but the prblm is thats where all the happiness is ok to a certain extent its suck but i kinda enjoy it... i dont know... currently i aint doing my job at all... and ya its driving other ppl nuts and giving aother ppl problem and the root of it its me!!!.. darn i so hate myself... As of now i think im the one who having issues with myself?? we'll see

I really dont know was it me that u were refering to??? cause what you wrote some what happen that nite?? I really dont know.. i guess gotta be thick skin and i assume ur refering to me??? If im sure and i think im sure... yeah i have the same feeling for you too... i wont forget you and i hope you wont forget me... cause i will love you... no matter what had happened or what you had told me... yeap! i will love you...

Well thats it for now

Some of the greater things in life are unseen thats why you close your eyes when you kiss, cry, or dream...

well till here then

To be continued...

Heart Speaks For Itself

2009-03-28T23:25:00.008+08:00

Updating....

Starting to get dusty again... *Sneeze*

Been wanting to update since spec course but aint got time.. yeah my life has been filled with NCC ncc and MORE NCC!!!

currently down for 57th COC course as Head Logistics... and yeah quite easy for now... nthg much yet... but one thing that im sure off alot can happen in a short period of time... My life as of now is like a Drama or smthg like that (quoted from Wei Hao) Spec course week nothing much happen wait smthg happen i think.. yeah a small one though.. plus alot of leadership issues and all... and as of now im quite good with IGTS. Will be doing more of it tmr yeap.. and what happened at spec course i guess i'll just have to keep it with myself... and going for it i think.. confusion is the word.

Now im spending my sem hols with NCC... and 57th as logistics nthg much u can do.. so ya jsut chill.. in a midst of the course alot had and will happen... but as whole not really enjoying the course.. well impulsive decision this is what u get...

The more i think of it the more it will get me... when i thought she's the one and the situation was perfect but it will all backfire... nothing and seriously nothing has gone my way... gotta live with it... only wonders can bring us together... why me?? seriously its like..nvm forget it... gotta live with it...

missing her smile laughter voice... perfect for me but too bad i aint perfect for her... keeping it.. wouldnt want to repeat shitty mistakes... you will always be the special one in my heart...

a short one only... just to make sure my blog looks alive ...

Ku berserah kepada Illahi.

Ku terima dengan rela hati

Ku berdoa agar kau bahgia

Ku redha tanpa rasa hiba

well thats it for now

Hanya illusi yang mampu menyatukan langit dan bumi

well till here then

To be continue

Another ray Of Light

2009-03-12T16:03:00.001+08:00

*cough cough*

Woah hmm sorry abit dusty here and there..

yeap im back...

Ok well due to the busy and of course lazyness! hah

thats y i have NOT been updating yeap...

well its been a hell of a ride here and there and all... Mylife has never been this interesting.. getting screwed all the time... its been always my mistake.. haiizz..

You might see a sudden mood change in this post... so yeah

commitments commitments and more commitments....

yeap thats what been happening so far... looking at the brighter side of things....

sch ended like YEAH!!

hoping for a nice gpa this time around... and a new ray of hope.. elaborate soon i think...

taking it slow.. and this time really must! i will not repeat the mistake that i had made in the past..

ouh the darker side of things... ive been busy with NCC which i dont know whether it should be good of bad?? wonder...

let me list donw the list that i am down for NCC...

Camp Feast

Spec Course

COC course

Inter Sch Soccer tornament

Trainfires*

Imt*

Range*

* the last three its like maybe.. cause i might be lazy to for it..

Bottom line Im gonna burn My HOLS!!! ARGHH

and yeap my whole March Is gone.. *poof*

still at the back of my mind... am i spending to much time with ncc... hmm i wonder...

now updates on life

ahaha

I just realise its been sometime i EMO-ed... and it feels good or wierd i should say... being use to all the emoing and all the crapness... its been a while i feel that way...

I supposed its good right???

and my fitness has gone down the drain! *poof* due to the unhealthy life im leading...
FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD! been wasting money on Fast Food and im paying the price now!! Coughing flu blocked nose.. kinda like a package.. a complete one i should say.. and still im goinf for NCC ahahaah beats me...

Friends ermm well my WJLA bros we're like fine i think?? i so miss hanging out with my bros~! arghh evryones busy with life now... well as for shol and helmi its TP for them nex Mon GOOD LUCK guys.. rafiq busy with mesjid and sch... while hashim with school too. and me NCC my Bro Silat i think?? and not to forget new editon to the WJLA crew syukor busy with i dunnoe? hahaha

im so need to get a life!!!

personal note... im broke and jobless... HELP!!!

Suppose to work for this hols... and im so smart to applied for COC course .. how smart i can be!! DAMNED!

Not only that i thought of spending more time with my Mesjid activities in the end it went the other way more and more NCC?? .....

On a serious note..

Im quite confuse with myself on setting my priorities... sigh.. its been one lonely journey.. and actually in reality right now im leading a life with no vision... actually ive been running away from reality!

well yeah as of now... i think im clueless of what to do and all... things been going smoothly for some of the things which aint right...

well i doubt i still can live with this line any more although its true...

In Life Shit Happens- Just Flush It Away

i so doubt it... cause i dont think i can jsut flush certain things away... cause if i were to that i will let my fear strike me out from playing with my own life...

i think... and

still the best for me would be

NO SACRIFICE NO VICTORY

People always things why me why me... now i will have to say why not me??? no use running away from reality.. like they always say reality bites... so ya just bite it. then?

sighs...

To think of it i was the one with the itchy mind who did all this to myself the commitments and all

i guess i still cant get over the fear of being the last on the "food chain"...

i was looking thru and reflecting on stuffs i realise that the fear of being and outcast lonely guy ist still inside me... the one who always being pushed around my others... ordered and mocked at.. the fear is so coming back...

well during my campfeast well yeah i enjoyed u know laughing at some guy due to pronounciation problem.. but to think of it.. if i was in the person shoe which i think im am just that my problem is not really that obvious but does it?? im not sure nvm back to this incident..

ya.. felt quite bad mocking at people difficuties... well guys think about it...

other than that..

i was on my way home when i saw this old lady working at this coffee shop near my place... and not only her but now there's alot of old folks out there working their butt off making me realise

how selfish i have been...

when my parents is working hard for me and my brothers... while we especially me spending like no one business... haizz...

this is the part where i ask myself whether is good for me to continue my ncc stuff or get ajob and start supporting myself so that my parents wont really feel the pain of having to give me money and all...

i feel so ashamed and shitty right now... people around me are so affected with the recession and economy crisis while im here still spending money!!!

tell me how selfish i am!!...

im so down now....

I saw another light while i was walking into another light... so which path should i take...? should i take the path that can make me smile all the time and confortable talking and being around this light or this other path where i still be happy and smiling away but just that wont be as much comfortable due to the diffrent in background and all....

thats why another ray of light...

I think its enough for now and will try to promise myself to update regularly from now on...

Well thats it for now

Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.

Till here then

to be continued...

wonders of life..

2009-01-14T01:36:00.008+08:00

wow been ages since i step in here... hello to my readers if there is any.. hahx

Life been great and yet confusing plus a whole lot of obstacles that im encountering... but slowly im learning that emoing aint gonna solve the prblem.. that explain the reason why im updating.

secondly.. the reason why im in here and updating is hahx u know i know eyy..

Life been exceptionally great for me... although few minor setbacks and all with my grands illness its been quite hard for the family but alhamdullilah the family coping well now...

And sch been ok for me.. catching up and my exam date 9 march! how unfortunate.. suppose to be my campfeast but ahh cant.. sch is so much important...

Ok Jack-O suprise birthday party 1st i guess.. The whole idea came about when sool-o when for someones birthday party and so me and rafiq decided to like have our own too... and rafiiq gave the idea of giving our dear advisor a surprise birthday BBQ!!.. the whole plan was rather simple.. we had our own AI and all!! thats how the whole idea came abt and all.. and yeah the day came.. There were minor hiccups and all... like our timing as usual.. JANJI Melayu .. hahax yeah.. but then everything when on as planned! our 1st WJLA-O bbQ was a success... Look out ppl.. more WJLA-O activities ahead.. let the pictures explain the whole nite eyy...

Right after this was my Family BBQ.. somehow i just cant get enough of BBQ rofl.. This time the family bbq had a lot of meaning to it... 1stly its been quite a while since my family(mum side) came down together and full strength and enjoy the night.. alhamdullilah everything was fine.. though there were series of unfortunate event.. but now things are doing just fine..

with the recent events and all.. i feel like im now back to my own self putting aside the emoing and all.. i have found the reason to continue living... im finally doing my tasks.. and responsibility bestowed upon me.. i tried to keep myself composed and doing my best to prevent myself from irrational decision.. i learnt that live itself have alot in it.. and slowly i will and i must fine my path... As of today.. i believe im changing in a way... and i hope the change is for the better..

and I think i wont be updating much aite... =)

Ive told the story.

Hoping for a chance.

Hoping that love will prevail.

Ive never regret telling You my Feelings.

261108.

A date that I will not forget.

Insyallah.

define love??

well thats it for now

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love someone else

well till here then

To be continue

2009 eyy...

2009-01-03T20:20:00.006+08:00

yup i know this post should have been up long ago...been quite lazy to update this blog of mine...

ok just get to the story shall we..

Whats 2008 for me???

New batch of Clts 54th wildcats...

NCC was my life for quite a few months

Then come the disaster part... Os came out.. the root of all problems for the year!

by far the most and probably the most shitty for me was my results... then comes the emoing and all... lucky for me i had Family,Frens, esp Wildcats and Fityan.. Back then WJLA hasnt been

born.. yet...

Next was the decision making.. Sec 5 or ITE??? yeah

for those who remembered this was by far the most stupid or should i say the silliest decision i ever made... 1stly i was like yeah Sec 5 gonna chiong and so call turn over a new leaf... I was living with this line

NO SACRIFICE NO VICTORY!

hah but guess wat its only like for a week or so.. when i was in sch my habits were stilll the same..

eg slping and daze away in class... came to a point i thought why the hack i stayed back... so when i got my place at ITE .. I was like ahh F-it .. ITE is my place.. and partially NCC that influence my decision.. NCC was still my life back then...

then come ITE .. i was like woow ok... do my time and just go.. then i was like ehh not that bad after all... as in easy life and im enjoying which is ok i think...

yeah then next up..

ADC finally a Supernumerary..

The usual emoing was still there i think...

yeah BFF was another part of my life...

A line that I could not forget.. Things could have been different if u told me earlier..

that kinda change my life a bit.. well not a bit its actually alot.. then i told myself.. well she is happy and with someone which is definately much betta.. so yeah.. i was like yeah.. her happiness is my happiness =)..

then BFF was it...

and i got a lil tiff with my other female bestfriend... Well we've been friends for like a decade or so.. since pri sch.. and by far the best femaile friend that i can talk too and all but somehow or rather i dont know why we had a lil miss understanding.. well now i thing the situation kinda solve and okay alrdy i think.. heh.. well i wouldnt want a decade of frenship gone.. thats something abt me i realise this year... i seriously treasure my frens alot..!!!

ok next KRX my 1st camp that i was the conduct overseas!.. that quite and achivement i think.. was a success.. thats where someone or i should call her Syurga lah.. aite.. well she was someone that kinda had a feel for but things couldnt happen. well something i learnt last year was i wasnt sure of my own feelings...

next..

NCC achivement shall we?? haha

NCC Day Dinner NCC Ensign

55th COC Land Ensign

Change of Command GOH 2IC..

Adventure Training IC
West Council

well cant remember much ahh

ouh ya..

WJLA! born!! the 7 eligible bachelors.!!!

aahah by far the best for the year!!

then comes the 5dec incident i guess.. this was what kinda change me... for the year!! on this note.. i would like to thank my bros of WJLA!! well i settle it like finally to sholihin fiq hakim izuwan and all.. thnks!!

lets all hope 09 is a new year and things will be different...

to add on.. newly found hobby.. Starbucks/Coffee bean and One fullerton.. chill sat nites

to sum things up...

"In Life SHIT happens you can keep flush it away but when u run out of luck it will choke up and ReAL SHIT happens" think about it..

" No Sacrifice No Victory"

yeahh

Thats 2008 for me.. well i thing i might miss out like alot of the key things that happen this is a rough idea of 2008!!

overall a shit year for me??

26112008

a date that i would not forget...

a date that i found the little wonders of earth.. think about it aites..

and yeah as usual

Well thats it for now

Don't confuse the simplicity of love with the complexity of yourself. Love is transcendence not perfection.

Till here then

To be Continued

What About Now?

2008-12-20T03:34:00.003+08:00

I guess i had made a wrong move... i have nothing... nothing at all! What now?? The uncertainties is killing me... Why have i been trying too hard?? It has always been like this. Each time when i think that its right somehow it will always backfire in the end!!! Maybe Im just not cut for it... I barely know her and saying that i love her wasnt a right move or was it?? But isnt it how it supposed to go Love at first sight?? well maybe my theory of on handling this situation wrongly...

The only thing that im afraid is to loose her even before i can get to know her.. It may contradict or may not my other post but yeah! arghh...

im just hoping that her trip would be like a "cooling" or so called like i dunnoe just to make sure that everything is fine... this time i have to do it myself....

I cant always depend on my friend on my own life right?? though things are better now... somehow i still feel im alone in what me myself and i dont have the answer.. alone again? i hope it wont happen again or better still never!!

Cinta??? Apakah ada definisi yang terang bagi cinta??

Cinta tak kan datang kalau tidak dicari-

Cinta tak kan dapat kalau tidak memberi-

Hidup tanpa cinta bagai hidup tanpa cita-cita

Sudah berkali-kali aku tersilap langkah, bagi setiap langkah silap yang aku ambil aku akan terus lari tanpa menghiraukan kesan yang bakal aku tinggalkan dengan kesilapan aku itu... Apa yang harus ku lakukan ?? Ini kah masanya untuk ku hanya berdiam diri.. Aku tidak lagi layak untuk bersuara kerna kesilapan-kesilapan yang terlalu banyak yang telah ku lakukan..

Terima kasih semua.. Aku mohon ampun dan maaf bagi segala kesilapan ku itu..

Kenangku dalam doa kalian...

Well thats it for now

No matter what the post is about... How crappy it may sound...Deep in my heart... I will be waiting for you...hopes...

Well till here then

To be continued...

Thank You All...

2008-12-10T23:10:00.005+08:00

hey..

Back.. quite a while since i came in here...

alot had happened and going to happen i think... Now i realise and gotta admit.. its me who has been making alot of mistakes and all but hey... just gotta make sure i learn from each of the mistake the i had made and will make.

Let Me start by Thanking my Campin platoon!( abit outdated) but hey by far the best platooN that i have taken as a PC... Juliet 4!!!

Thank You each and one of u guys who had made the Campin a huge success... not to forget the nice and long appraisal that u guys had written.. i still have them with me each and everyone of u guys! and girls..! Most memorable Camp! If i were to elaborate.. it wouldnt end!..

Next CoC! ( Change Of Command)..

Yup For those of u guys who still didnt know.. Ncc has a new commandant! COL Adrian Koh

A Commando and Airbourne ranger how bout that...!

Yeah I was the Contingent Commander 2ic i mean!.. yeap by far the worst parade that ive been too as the rehearsals and the weather seriously ouch... most of us actually all of us was bathing in our own perspiration. Being a contingent commander is quite boring actually! Flag party still the best!!

Next Up 56th Coc..

another great parade.. was supposed to be in it.. i let rafiq to be in it... while i be the reserve for it.. as planned but somehow.. when i was about to execute my plan... everthing when haywire... that nite wasnt the nite.. but nevertheless the celebration continues.. at the MpH! WJLA-O bros was awesome we had our group photo and all.. it was awesome!!!

Theres a vid too... yeah i had my share of fun and laughterss!!!

And yeah thats abt it what been happening...

ouh ya thnks for the taggs! reply to it soon!!

Year 2008 has been A real roller coaster ride... i began to understand whats life about now.. the thick and thin of life itself...

What matters most to me now my Family and friends!!!

I learn how to make sure that i learnt from my mistakes.. and change myself...

Credits to my WJLA Productions.. i think without them i still cant fine my trueself...

And also i hope that i will have someone to share this joy with me.. hmm little wonders..

Ever since that Wednesday!! i was the date... just a simple action and i felt something that ive never felt before Love at first sight... only God know how i felt at that point of time...
This is the part which is so true.. it will come when u least expected!

I just hope that my heart doesnt fail me like it always did...

"Jikalau betul dialah untukku maka dekatkan lah hati nya dengan hati ku Ya Allah!"

But i wouldnt want to rush things.. get to know her. her life well if things might work out You will never know...

lets just let it unfold on its own.. and will see whats going to happen!

On that note.. i would like to thank one and all for making mylife more meaningful now... life was once meaningless for me... but now things change.. and im sorry if i had hurt anyone along the way... i will do my best to change whats wrong and improve to the best of my abilities...

Check us out at

http://www.wah-jia-lat-ah.blogspot.com/

Well Thats it For now

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was.

Well till here then

To Be continued...

What am i going to do now?

2008-11-09T04:50:00.006+08:00

ok.. its been quite a while since i blogged...

everthing actually kind a messed up.. well made a wrong move.. and i gotta live with it..

Make a decision and dont look back...

So yeah.. i'll just live with it for now and try not to screw up anymore... for once i trying my best not to pin point blames on anyone.. but to myself... been emoing this past few days but hey like what my gd fren said...

we shouldnt dwell on things but to learn from it and move on...

Since my last post... the days have been quite horrid... everything is just so so wrong.. well everyone said that its just me.. well maybe true.. i myself not quite sure... nothing feels alright..

losing everything 1stly my passion... well ncc doesnt burns me anymore... its just another activity for me... I've lost everythink that i could think off..

Still holding on storng to this line..

No sacrifice No victory! but the irony is.. how can i have victory when i have nothing to sacrifice.. Friends leaving me all alone... just like before... when i go to school.. study or daze and then goes home after that.. stayed at hme.. the whole day.. my old life.. when people used to hate me or exile me.. at that point of time only Ncc held me up.. but now.. i see nothing in anything i do.. there is just people trying to kill it.. when i think i had it going... but in the end i have nothing.. nothing at all...

So much for being brothers... i just dunnoe what to do now... i screwed up NCC.. and fityan.. well still ok for now... Insyaallah i'll stay storng and well thats the only thing thats keeping me alive...

Well best guy fren how bout that???... well i expected it... well jsut have to move on.. im onl9 17 and still have a long journey ahead.. lets just take a step at a time... and try to just do something correct and useful for once...

having amazing race this coming Sun.. and change of command selctions this friday... campin around the corner... alot happpening...

Apparently some folks just dont care about me no more.. so i'll just have to follow what my good fren said.. if they dont want u there the just moved on... no point begging or wat to be part of them...

been nice But I have to go now...

Thank you all those who have helped me.
its time for me to go...

Well thats it for now

Life dont always go your way.If yours do, then its not life... Think About it...

Well till here then

To be continued...

Some People Just Do Not Understand

2008-10-26T01:49:00.007+08:00

1stly...
Hari Raya With WJLA [Wah-jia-lat-ah]
Everything was great.. the company and all.. was great...
hmm the crowd itself tells evrything....

next

Hari Raya Bonanza 08...
Well i had the fear that something somewhere wasnt right during the start of the event.. well as it went on.. everything wenr on as planned... the programme and all... i believe almost evrything went on just great!!.. This might be too late but again i would like to thank evryone that have involve with the planning of it!!...

Sch
Been fine well for the fact that i cabot my thurs lesson for challange quest... yeah others i believe its just rite.. timetable and all.. i hope that i could really score this sem... GPA 4!!! i hope... But with the stricter attendance i amy have a problem wif attendance part...

Just came back From Fityan Raya!!
start of late but one hacked of raya-ing.. i did enjoy myself.. and i hope the rest enjoy too!!
With the great company and all.. hmm if i were to list it out... it would be a long one! ahaha

On a serious note...
amidst fo all this nice happenings all around me... deep inside im crashing down like hell!!.. only god knows what i am going through right now... Well how its always me to get all the shits.. when im trying to tell something which is really true.. its always bout me giving excuses but in actual fact its the real fact.. but hey who want to listen to shit ass uy like me... im seriously pisst off !!! For the fact that im always the one who lends my ear to them.. listening to their problem and all.. if i can help i will try my very best to help the least thing i do would be just listen!! BUT when it comes to my turn.. when i have problem! who do i turn to?? they dont even one to listen and IF they listen it wont help at all in the end, sometimes make it worst!. which totally F-up big time.. I been patient too long.. very long.. and im still holding in!.. all the crap shits.. Its Always about me.>!??? issit fair tell me people!! issit FAIR!!! ?? They live a simple and happy life WHY CANT I??? Cant they just listen to my side for Once.. just once.. Then when i try to propose an idea for example.. they wont listen but when the exact same idea comes from another person they will be like ahh ya! WTF!!! Cmon la dont i deserve any form of respect!!.. And please DONT COMPARE ME WITH MY TWIN!! Yes we may be twin but that doesnt mean we share the SAME Life... he has his... i have MY OWN Life!! ... Why must it be always him that get the name... why isnt my achivements good enough?? I may have screw my O lvls and im in ITE
SO whaT??? i dont deserve to be looked upon?.. When i looked back i realise that i really ahve a good leadership but till someone thinks im total crap shit back in sec 2 till i lost all my Self esteem and became Something that i thought i never be a loner... Recalling evrything back... How sucky my secondary life is!!.. So Please... I beg to any kind souls out there..

Help me..

Loving you was the right thing to do all along.. But how can i let it out from my heart to my tongue and say I LOVE YOU all along?? soon when we meet i hope i have a chance to say that even though u might reject it or doesnt mean anything to you at all.. It wasnt a mistake to Love you!

Well thats it for now

I will do anything for your happiness even if it means sacrificing my love for you.

well till here then

To be continued...

Dedicated To Miss Right

2008-10-15T00:19:00.007+08:00

Hey back.. Sch reopened.. its only been 2 days of sch but i can feel the dreadness already...

On the brighter side of sch.. i will be skipping sch.. due to my teachers.. they will be having training and on fri my class Teambuilding Bowling at CSC!.. i hope to see when i see u..

nothing much to update on...

Busy2 with my big event... an well seriously i have a really2 bad feeling somethings not right somewhere.. im quite nervous that i might have left out something for this yrs Raya Bonanza 08!

before anything i would like to thank and appreciate all the help from my committee as of now we should be ok just that my guts.. nvm about that.. lets all hope we have a great event this coming SUN!...

othe related events

WJLA/west raya this Sat.. it should be and will be a great event.. ahaha all hte kecohness and craziness.. yeah.. hoping that i will have fun... although there might unforseen circumstances... Lets all just enjoy the RAYA!! Wah-JIA_Lat+ AH!!!!

How fated am i to be reminded.. and get the courage to text her again.. ya know.. when i passed by the school.. i was like wow.. i totally miss her.. as in i kinda like suffer in silence after that i got to know.. that i could be the one. but hey she's someones else miss right.. and love cant be force..

well like i told her.. as long the she's happy i will be happy eventhough i have to sacrifice my love for her.. to make sure that she is happy..

im honoured when she told me she still remembered how close we used to be during our sec 1s days ya i know thats like 4 yrs ago.. things could have worked out then if i had the courage.. but then its repeating eyy... 4 yrs later and yeah but hey.. nvm...

i will always remember and believe in this line..

"Kalau Jodoh Tak Kemana"

having said that... jsut a word of caution to my bros out there.. if u feel that is really right and u have thought abt it.. as in really and i mean really2 thought of it and ur guts tells u that she is.. then just go for it... u will never know till u tell her whats in your heart...

and when she says its not u or she says she has someone else dont be sad or angry or what.. u should be happy for her.. as at the end of the day, its her happiness that counts..

like myself.. im trying to change and be a happy person no matter what happens.. there might be a reason why u didnt get her... its either u might get ther but later... with perseverance or there's someone else better for u..

well at least im now happy that she knows what i kept inside my heart all this while.. i just couldnt forget this.. "Things could have been different if u tole me earlier" ..
i will never 4get that...
let the rest of it unfold by itself...
Dont 4get our outing ya! either coffee bean or bowling.. ahahx my treat gal... if u can go la if ur 'friend" dont mind..

Ouh ya Check this vids out..

well thats it for now

Love is acceptance. When you love someone, you take them into your heart and that is surely why it hurts so much when we lose someone we love... because we lose a part of ourselves.

well till here then

To be continued...

Festive Mood

2008-10-03T16:58:00.001+08:00

And Yeap
Still celebrating it... been Great...
In the Midst of all this.. My results was ystd... guess wat my Gpa suck sia... 2.5!!! wah jia lat ah..
wakakaka
seriously need to buck up alrdy...if i carry on like this conferm cant make it to poly...
Hmm
yeah Alot of raya Outing Coming up and My event just around the corner... Raya Bonanza Big Bang!.. dont mind the name... The event date is 19 Oct(Sunday) its For all Assyakirin students and Youth!!! Public are welcome i think ahaha..
then i have Outing next Thu Or Fri wit my Jvss Mates.. ooo hope its goona be a great one if they are still going on wit it... And on top of all this... I have a Camp to Go... wahh
Hari Raya and im going for a camp like wth rite??? Sunday nite i may book in.. if im not lazy.. hah if not mon morning i'll have to report by 7 !!.. die la seyy.. Bag all packed.. and reasy to go... OCS... expriential camp... I really hope it would benefit me or smthg if not wahh jia lat ah...

Alhamdullilah.. some how im happy.. emoing aside or maybe a lil bit.. But hey it raya! so i shud be happy.. no reason for me to emo.. except for Her..!??!?! hehx
Overall life been just great.. Slowly but surely... just that im on a path of uncertainties... just following my guts... and yeay enjoying to the fullest!!!!

Ouh ya b4 i forget..
Check Out this Raya Song A new personal Fav Of minE...
Check the Gal in yellow!! She's Hot!! hahax

Been Texting her but hey dont know whether there is any chance for me to be in her heart... i hope that we're more than best friends.. or im just a friend.. haizz
This Time I gonna be sure its Love not Like... Insyaallah..

Doakan lah Daku wahai Sahabatku!...

well thats it for now.

Love has to be nurtured like the bud of a rose... waiting to emerge into something strong-willed and beautiful. If it’s ignored, it will wilt and die, like love that is taken for granted.

Well till here then

To be Continued

Selamat Hari Raya!!

2008-09-30T13:34:00.002+08:00

Ok people Its Raya...

We're coming to an end.. the closure for this year Ramadhan... For me this year celebration rather slacky and not really into it...

To all who visits my blog!

Saya yang terhiness Ingin mengucapkan

SELAMAT HARI RAYA!

MAAF ZAHIR BATIN!

Kalau ada Terkasar Bahasa Salah Silap Mane Ade Tergurau ke Yang Tersinggung Segala Yang TER TER TER la!... Semoga Kita Semua Dapat Bertemu Dengan Ramadhan Hadapan Insyaallah...

Well again... this year the same thing gonna raya at my grands place... Its been i dunnoe how many years alrdy raya at Johor.. somehow i miss the Singapore atmosphere of the Raya's morning in Singapore... all the stuffs at the mosque that i'll be doing wit my buddies... haizzz its ok its alrght.. hhaa

For now things aren't really great for me... but finally figured all out... haha and i roughly get the whole idea for it now... its gonna be a rough ride... Lets hope that the 11 ys of frenship will help alot...Loving someone that takes u only as a Bestfriend... Its really hard but i really i can work this out this time.. Insyallah!

well Thats it for now

Ikhlaskan hati mohon kemaafan Leburlah dosa di tapak tangan Lupakan segala silap dan salah Insan bersatu membina ummah

Well Till here then

To be Continued

Last Ten Days.

2008-09-20T01:52:00.005+08:00

Just a reminder to u guys out there its the last ten days!... all out people...

Insyaallah that we're all will meet The Nite Lailatul Qadar...

And Alhamdulillah that ive yet to have any worries or reason to emo just that its the last 10 days of Ramadhan and me and the other Muslims are leaving the month with doubts whether we will meet the next Ramadhan....

To tell u guys the truth i have been back being myself not the emo part but yeah myself... maybe due to the holidays and yeah Hari Raya around the corner...

where we celebrate the victory hehx...

Lately im quite busy like i say im the Chair for this year Raya Bonanza.. many things to plan out and do so little time with politics here and there... sometimes i wonder why can just people get along rite??? cmon if we hate the person that bad, but some he might still have strengths in some ways that help us to move along the way all this while rite?

well time can only decide what happens now...

jyeah!

Today went Buke wit my cuz gengs..man it was great la seyy ahahhaa

hmm let me see.. who was there... me twin cuz syidah lin a new fren btw haha diyanah hanif zaid and cuz gal afiqah... and it was a great company... didnt noe that my cuz gang has a lil bit of jackass in the blood... well my fav line for this kind of gathering fun FuN FUN!!! yeaH!!

We Breakfast at banquet then laze and chat around and i must say i was quite special for me today? ahaha head over heels.. im not sure.. lets not get to carried away shall we.. haha...

Im rather happy la.. hmm well was supposed to overnite at cuz place to chillx wel the planned came in rather late when i alrdy reach home.. haha yeah so now im updating with a brighter side of things.. i hope and want to make sure that this would stay like this for a very long time...

Too bad la no pics darn.. nvm theres always next time yaw!!!

Ouh ya Im outta town ppl... Visitting and overnite at my grands place at johor tmr DOnt miss me ya ahhaha lols!! jkjk hmm im sure i will be los of fun.. i hope aahaa ... darn im so happy alhamdulillah... not emoing for now..

Just a lil touch on the emotional side of things... Im pleased to know the my peeps have their on target or i shud say someone they would like to share their Love.. to all my bro or i shud say WJLA!!! go on on ur quest... it will be yours if its meant to be... but sometime u just need to push ur luck to know whats the outcome...

As for me... im still trying to stablize things and im pretty sure what my goals now... hmm well like i say im head over heels... but i should just wait for a lil while to know whether theres any chances for me... like i say lets not get to carried away with my own feelings... should i??? we'll see... Hope for the best peeps..

WJLA!!!

Well thats it for now

Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched in stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart, and there it will forever stay

Well till here then

To be Continued..

Half-Way Mark!

2008-09-11T01:38:00.004+08:00

and We have reach the half way mark

Its already 15 days since we started fasting people!!!
and yeah how time fly...soon goin to celebrate Hari Raya!!!
JyeaH!!

Some Updates

Ncc Day Dinner was alright... to be frank i really have the opportunity to enjoy myself...

ouh ya I was the ensign. Ncc Ensign to be exact... it was a simple marching in and out of the colours. Food was okay although ad alot of my peeps around. Still i didnt really enjoy much. Too tired i think. or maybe ya i think its one of the reason. For the fact that i didnt study for my test. life is cruel huh... and the tiredness of just sitting around kills me the whole of ystd...
took quite a number of pictures. but its all over and i cant remember whose camera. but somehow its a lie that i didnt enjoy that few minutes of fame.. hehx..
but yeah thats about dinner... kudos to azril, riduwan, jin chuan, jia yong and to those who are enlisting soon! good luck yaw!

Then..

Hmm ouh ya
Mosque activities... Finish most of it For this month... Both Exchange programme are done.. the one with RVHS And HCI ... yeah... thats it for me.. up next im Raya Bonanza its like a concert organize for the mosque and youth... and yeah im the chairman for the project... argHH!
More planning for me!>hahahx

Holidays are here people... and yeah im scouting for jobs...part time i mean...
just to save up for my Car licence next year... and to help me with my current family financial situation. Ouh ya i jus realize that i have been emoing for the past months. which i didnt really realise... but some how this Ramadhan have help me relax and things have quite alright i should say.

Ystd i went out to buke with my Wah-Jialat Clan~
Man It was awesome.. ahah evryone had a good laugh... we breakfast at Alif its at Bukit gombak... And by far have THE best bandung around.. yeah we had fun talk abt lots of things...
love life and stuffs...
for e now im holding on... and waiting.. some how it will come when u least expected...

well thats it for now

You know you love someone when you want them to be happy even if their happiness means that you’re not a part of it.

Well till here then

To be Continued

Its here...

2008-09-02T23:36:00.004+08:00

Well 1st and foremost...

alhamdullilah...

i get to meet again The Month...

Ramadhan...

Ok b4 i get to that...

Snr Spec Course West/Sea...

was a great one..

well im log nthg much to share but... seriously just one comment.. sea district is great bunch of ppl

regarding to the whole course seriously nthg much to share...

currently im feeling so down actually ... too the point that im telling ppl off... even that they do nthg... my head is spinning... ahve yet to figure things out.. and the feeling of lonelyness haunt me like crazy...

somehow this fasting month really helping me coppping wit things...

is great to see my peeps leading a great life with no worries...

for example shol...

his lyfe is so simple yet his happy wif things... no worries at all...

leading life so simple and yet meaningful... i just dunnoe the reason y???

maybe im just plain lazy?? well it might be true...

then comes rafiq...

another dear friend of my.. seeing the change in him make me really realise the reason why we are here... to change its a matter of really doing it or just a ya ya wateva thingy ....

i really respect him... well evrybody can change why can i?? rite...

well the only reason that i can find for now is ... im scared of changes... to adapt.. then to overcome the change... cause evrytime when i have to change or i want to change... it wont and ya as far as i noe it have yet to go my way evrytime...

i duunoe why but issit just me.. comparing with other ppl, there atre others worst than me.. yet they are leading a simple and meaningful life...

am i trying to hard... or over do things... maybe.. i myself not sure..

and yes!

its always not sure... like most of my friends abt me asyik not sure jek...

cause im afraid to make a stand or decision.... 17 years i lived.. i have never make a right decison.. its laways the opposite that is why i dont make decision... to me evrytime i make decisons it always go the opposite way!!!

some how this loneliness thas keeling me form the inside its helping but a lil part of it...

im still holing to this 2 qords for now till im sure that im not...

Alone.Again.

and this time its getting serious i guess....

really hope i can find this missing link....

have to go now.. will continue when i feel like it.............

for now... Selamat Berpuasa to all the muslim...

respect the month!

well thats it for now

Cinta tak kan datang kalau tidak dicari. Cinta tak kan datang kalau tidak memberi. Hidup tanpa Cinta bagaikan hidup tanpa cita-cita

Kalau jodoh tak kemana..

well till here then

To be Continued...

Wear Out...

2008-08-17T03:30:00.009+08:00

Hmm.. well its been great now...
things are slowly picking up... but then somehow i did overlook on some small things... maybe...
nevertheless.. i just have to look on the brighter side of things

well the 1st pass for my test... how bout that to start my entry?
nothing much for the whole week..
Friday ncc training was rather great i say.. as in we settle all of the admin side of things.. and as a 2IC for my sch cadet officers.. im rather proud and honoure to be with my comrades in leading the school.. hehe sound so leadership..
then proceed to mosque to settle my for stuffs for my so called youth concert?? Pementasan Belia... helped out a lil bit in transfering things b4 proceeding to kak shida's place to rewang...
i came at abt 11 plus so.. just boiled the chicken for the stock slacked around and sleep......

woke up arnd 8 ... started to fry the chicken and the tofu... and started with all the cooking...

blah2 end at arnd 10 plus... then started with all the prep..after all that had to rush home change to go to Mesjid for the mini youth concert thingy... blah2... took pics but dunnoe where ahaha

Fuad Rahman and the vocallist for Trabo.. Hayyum was there to grace the occasion... the whole thing was quite ok.. minor cock ups was there of course.. in the end ya ok...

Overnight at mesjid... super great la...sing2 at the park ahaha then called Din up to pick us up go home take my baju silat then head back to masjid... me salihin syafiq fahmy and salman when to play soccer in the middle of the night...

then head back... took a nap.. then woke up at abt arnd 7 plus prep for performance... had a rehearsal b4 the whole thing... right after that help out with the goodie bag... finally change to our shirts and get ready for the performance... for me my performance wasnt that good on that day as in isnt as planned... well evrything did end with a bang! .. yup... boomm de yada!!!

the rest of the day i hanged out at our fityan bistro stall.. with afiqah afidah and her friends... not forgetting the WTJ peeps.. man i did enjoyed myself... though its tiring not enough slp... somehow.. things really hit the spot for me.. well what can i say.. she was there... seeing her is alrdy the best thing aite??

too bad no pics wit me and her.. well nvm.. another time or smthg....

and yeah.. Fiesta keluarga.. to me la... Was a BLAST... al the kecohness and everything...

was great... so sorry to bdk2 WTJ cause tk stay to take the grp photo...

yeah... ICE CREAM! ICE CRAEAM!

Monday had training silat as usual wasnt on form... so ya did what i could do...

and yeah... nothing much school been normal.. just that less frequent to the gym now.. dunnoe y im just to tired nowadays..

fyi... im now lesson my time hanged out with peeps till late play cs till late or just lepak... to me now i rather stay at home and ya just stay at home... sorry but ya those who have been messaging me or try to reach me at my Hp currently im not using my phone... ill tell when my phone is up and running for now.. msn will do.. ya??

I guess its coming true now.. alone.again... not everything thats repeating itself just that all the crappyness of life thats haunting me... all administrative stuff this and that.. Ncc proposal this dateline that dateline... my commitment to NCC is so decreasing which i cant find a reason y?...

im not so enthu as i am last time regarding ncc... well facing the facts... to be what i wanna a be is pretty or i should say very difficult... the passion for Army isnt there anymore... my leadership skills and all that i have learnt somehow i lost it... im so so weak inside... always trying to use my fist as a solution for all my problem... like the other time... i nearly blow my top... but still theres something that will hold me... my faith my religion i guess...

Love? is out of the question now...
well ya i do feel envy of the ppl that ya know walk aroud holding hands.. but too bad for me...

im not cut for it... just living with plain dreams... nthg but dreams.. hope..

AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

is there still and love out there for me??

just holding on to plain hopes..

well thats it for now

I’ve learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures can never replace being there, memories forget the hard times, words can never replace feelings, and heroes often go unsung

well till here then

To be continued...

Celebrating the Singapore Spirit! 43rd!

2008-08-12T23:00:00.006+08:00

hey evryone...

This post shud be up way2 before today but hey wth rite?

So ya National Day was last Saturday... so how did i celebrated mine?? hmm
Working!

Yeah then after work went to waterfront to catch the fireworks... and and not to forget all the crappyness from hanging out wit my Fityan crew and then wit my NCC peeps...

it was one long day... well what happened was in the midst of people clearing up me and bro wanted to get to the esplanade side after the fireworks to meet my NCC peeps.. and we actually had to walk all over the place and to find out that here close there close... in the end had to walk one big round... through the underpass at some place i forget the name...hehx

yeah then finally meet them... took some photos then hang out at starbucks sit and TCS yup..

then walk to marina square... then hang out at MacD till abt 2 plus b4 making my way home ...

The Sun morning had silat training and as usual come late.. ahah

cmon i slept at 4 woke up at 9 how cool?? trained for my performance yup!!! it shud be ok now...

so do come down this coming Sunday if u wanna see my performance!!!

hmm

yeah.. thats abt it i guess... since national day i guess things been ok la for me beside all the crappy and shitty scarstic jokes that is always on me... not saying that im fine wit it just that its been like 4 yrs that i gone trough so why bother retaliate?? so ya just bare wit it i guess??

Ystd while on my way to sch.... i ponder on things.. trying to figure out y things is always on me?? well somehow i got the answer but no solution to it... speaking of which my only solution to it is actually to just beat the person that causing this to a pulp.. but hey fighting isnt a good solution though is a solution but the world isnt fair...

its Life... the rich mock at the poor... the Big bully the small... smart mocks at the no so smart and like me always being pushed around.. then when retaliate ade je like...'eh relek ah abeh binget' or 'lah kene sikit jek nak binget' or even 'win mcm biase jgk'...

this kind of thing that makes me like who cares their mouth rite so ya layan kn jek....

its always about mocking the weak to make the person feel more inferior and to get their self-esteem high.. rite??

so here i am just sitting here going through the same cycle each time when i hang out or just sit around wit them...

but hey like i said i dont mind i think??

Ouh ya

Alone again?? so familiar... hey girl.. dont be sad or dwendle on things... well just remember that this little conflicts could actually make ur relationship better or worst?? so ya try to look arounfd and fined the right answer... love its always like that to me... The ones that you love the most, are usually the ones that hurt you the most...

so ya chill aite.. if u wanna talk to someone.. feel free to just beep me up... i could lend my ear... just to hear ur prblems aite...

hmm

said my piece... finally there are more but save it for some other post ..

well thats it for now

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable

well till here then

To be continued...

f-up

2008-08-06T19:26:00.007+08:00

What a week...

Let Me list the things down...

Camp Feast Part A

Outing To Plaza Sing

Follow my mum for a Wedding

Silat Training

Camp Feast part A nothing much abt it.. as a Scorpion OC... things was fine for me... cock ups here and there... was quite alright for me... did slack anrd though...

"Scorpion CoY! dwuw!"

Shall not tell much abt the other activities...

ouh ya..

UPDATED...

Life been sucks
that shud help me shorten this whole post...

well thats it for now

It is wonderful to be loved and to love. It is horrible to love and not be loved. But it is the most horrible to tell someone who deeply loves you that you don’t love them and watch their heart shatter in front of your eyes

well till here then

To be continued...

Burn Out...

2008-07-29T00:23:00.004+08:00

One hell of a weekend...

Spent my whole weekend at my Grands place in JB... my grandfather just shifted nearer at Senai, Taman Aman.. which is so near than the old place some where in Pontian...

yup just shifted.. so my family when there to just settle things there... My job was simple paint the whole house?? easy rite?? ahaha..

thats what i thought so too cause the house is quite small so i thought can finish the job within a day... WRONG! ahaha

The two whole days manage only to paint the living room an kitchen plus the porch thats it... and i tell u its Damn TirinG!..

ya.. well with this new house i guess my grand should be fine here...

ouh ya just to add... had a MINI Durian session... WOW its been ages since i ate... and since its in season... like wow... enjoyed the Durian so much.. d21 was the best.. ahaha

alot more things happened actually be it good or bad... dont think i'll type it out...

Today was a quite slack.. cause i skipped my morning lesson then in the afternoon when to school for my Practical Test.. which was lucky for me quite easy actually..

then after my test went down straight to Mosque for my Silat Training.. tday was the most or issit quite intensive training... me and twin was chosen to play Ganda.. well for those who dont know its actually some what like a Choreograph Sparring like acting like that...

And i thought playing Seni was damn easy ... its much much much harder than tanding which is normail fight... super tedious had to memorise steps... then got exact timings.. the best part injured myself today yay??? my face slammed and skid to the floor OUCH!...

One word Tired..

off too CAMP FEAST tml... skipping school yessa!! ..

and im OC.. how bout that?? Scorpion OC.. cool huh?

current state quite ok...still waiting and trying to figure out what to do now??

im just so lost..

and its very dark... with no one to turn too... taking random routes... only with my guts and my heart as my compass.. to find my way out... which then can lead me too someone...

someone out there...

but for now still walking aimlessly.. all alone.

well thats it for now

It’s so easy to think about love, to talk about love, to wish for love. But it’s not always easy to recognize love... even when we hold it in our hands.

well till here then

To be continued...

On the road again.

2008-07-22T22:23:00.003+08:00

yeah back again...
leading my normal ways of life... as usual life is never fair so why do i bother to ask why life is unfair in the first place... if life were to be fair it isnt call a life am i rite???

Picking up where i left...
hmm..

Harmony Trail@ West Coast GRC
Last sat Me and my bros frm Fityan Assyakirin participate in this harmony trail thing... its actually racial harmony celebration... the whole thing was actually quite fun as we had Din as our Driver for the Day... damn it was one hack of a comp... we had a good start... early lead... we had to go and visit places of worship in around the west coast GRC area... had to answer some question and take photo of the places... then report back to west coast park the finishing point...
We didnt win.. just got a conslation prize 50bucks... it wasnt actually worth it la as i had to pay 15 for the car.. so ended up losing 5 bucks.. darn it..
But overall great exprience... yeap FUN

On sunday i planned to study for my test on Monday... System Administration test.. in the end i didnt study cause was too tired ... i went for my gym training then plan to study after that in the end i only finish 1 1/2 chp only.. and On Monday during the test.. i just sat that look at the paper and figure the answers out.. for the multiple choice i had 25% chance to get it correct so just try my luck... ahaha
Ouh ya also.. Monday night i had my grading for my Silat... ahah yeah double grading... Green belt baybeh.. ahaha and yeah the part where i need to memorise the damn syllabyus wahh seriously parah sey
ahaha
but yeah i passed i think :x ahaha

And Tday i really felt like back in Sec Sch Again.. why?? cause i didnt know ITE celebrate Racial Harmony Day?? like kids rite i know dont tell me.. ahaha
yeah so sat there watch ACT 3 which is so secondary school like what my dear friends say ahaha
sat in the whole watch the whole performance. then i decided to stayed back train in the gym.. then made my way to Jurongville for some Kayaking stuffs.. then KFC for dinner... b4 making my way hme...

and yeah i think im finally having my normal life again... but in the midst of this normallity .. theres something that i had to force to forget.. it wasnt by choice.. i had to forget her... its painful yet its a must.. somehow im telling myself to hold on to something thats in me but i cant seem to hold on to anything... anyone out there...??

Kak wani thanks for the tagg i guess ur rite huh??

well just two words...

Alone.Again.

well thats it for now

Love is hardest to find and easiest to lose. We recognize a true love when we realize that the only one who can console us is the one who caused the pain.

well till here then

To be continued...

Gosh... Why am I so Argh.. nVm

2008-07-17T01:19:00.003+08:00

What can i say...

suddenly things are so so quiet... things was going just great rite after my bdae... until just now..
everything just came crashing down... wanna know why?

hmm

how should i put it..

me and my stupid ideas... always and always things are siding me... cmon lah for real?? how can i be so dumb in the 1st place?? why cant i just be like my bro just sit there enjoying the whole event...

agrhhhh now im in this whole mess.. how?
still can think that it was me? cmon la gotta get real rite??

well just gotta thank for the joy ride given for past few days... although it sucky but hey its alrdy usual for me... since God knows when...

seriously down on my luck...

why?? dont i deserve a decent love from anyone?? gosh..
well like i said before in my other post.... History Going To Repeat Itself ..
and i can see its going to start soon..
ouh wait i guess it has started just that im blinded by this stupid ideas..
me and my own world...

deep inside feel f-up as usual... really killing myself with all this shits
nthg has been abt me.. is always abt others.. when i thought its real, its actually just plain illusions.. lucky for me i found out at the right time.. if i were to find out sooner or later it would be much worst and i dont know what chaos can it cause...

It was fun and thanks... so ya.. i'll just move on from here...
shall bury this feeling soon...
and get back to square 1 to start my shits all over again..

Couldnt imagine if i were to fine ur blg much later.. i think i'll be like he most idiotic guy ever... in the 1st place how can i fall for u rite?? maybe because i dont know ur taken?? maybe thats the most and prolly the rational answer i have to at least not to make myself feel anyworst but never the less i shall say thanks again at least i did had a memorable bdae.. but too bad... im just one unlucky crap shit..

well thats it for now

You know you love someone when you want them to be happy even if their happiness means that you’re not a part of it.

well till here then

To be continued

Messed up... Oh ya 17

2008-07-13T00:09:00.005+08:00

Week Updates..

this post was supposed to be up much earlier but due to my lazyness i didnt publish this post...

where oh where shud i start...

frm what u guys readis time in the last post... just to share that this time i kinda mess things up a lil bit... haha confessions and more of it ahaha

ok im so so not in position..

well Jannah said that she cant accept me... and she said that we still can be friends.. ahah

as for me... im kinda like fine with it... like i always do understand understood... it was a passing one shudnt have did what i did...

well whats done its done ive said my piece and shall not regret at least i like tell my feelings rather than keeping it inside me like i always do... which kinda good at times...

keeping things may not always be a good choice but its the most safe as it wont land u in hot soup?? like me... so gotta really figure things out properly from now on

The Other day I talked to BFF with regards on my recent postings and stuffs... so ya i t told her everything.. and after i told her everything.. im like ok..
then she started hinting me on asking whether i have anything to tell her..

and guess what i told almost everything that i had wanted to tell her since god knows when.

and it kinda feel sad... cause if i were to tell her earlier things might just be different or issit??

well whats done its done gotta move on yaw...

just hopes the best for her...

and now its me myself and I or not?

Ouh ya

13th July

HaPPy BDae To Me

and ya i would like to give my HeaRT FELT THANKS to all who wished me... regardless of the medium MSN Friendster Tagged SMS and ya... Special thanks to Ly for the Morning call... thanks! ahhax

a Big Thank you to all..

its really a joy to know that quite number of ppl remembered my bdae!...

THANK YOU again...

also to my Cuzzies Sis Ayu for the shirt u bought.. it fits nicely lah ahahah

17.. just a number.. still same old me...

This year was kinda like a Family affair celebration cause coincidentally my aunt had a kenduri so they invited my family to come down... and since my family really on a tight budget.. so ya it ws the best choice...
and really It Was ALL SMILE...

and other than that seeing her was like a WOW for me.. what else can i ask for my bdae.. A smile frm her was like the best thing..

ok this her im refering to she is like hmm how shud i put it... i dunnoe but some howh seeing her was like ahhhh ... and ya this is the part that made me think.. wow.. ok is she the real one...

ok pardon me... ya but its me.. and she is actually a crush from the past... ya.. ok i noe.. what u guys are thinking that i dont make right decision and cock up... like what they always say btol tk shol fiq? ahax
well ya i know and i hope she is going to read this post...

Please let me talked to you gal.. we can work things out... and i seriously hope its not one e sided unless i read the wrong sign of the smiling and stares frm u the other day during my bdae...
so ya... hope that u get this message k?

ok

to cuz Sis Ain thanks for letting me share and talked to you ya! ahah great to share thoughts wit ya...
thanks again...

ouhkay ive said my piece its almost 2.40 in the morning...
still have my JPD Project to chiong for tml presentation...

Well thats it for now

Love is not about finding the right person, but creating a right relationship. It's not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build till the end

well till here then

To be continued...

Clearing Doubts

2008-07-09T17:41:00.004+08:00

oK

Back.. well nthg Much to update on...

Monday went to sch.. well sch isnt so bad after all or issit?
so ya new modules.. more difficult! well gd luck to me...
My results for the last module was like just pass 50/100 how bout that?
in the evening when for my silat training.. revised on our white belt syllabus and learn yellow belt syllabus... very rigourous training i should say...one word.. tired... inter grasio coming up at the end of the yr.. so ya training hard!!!

Tues
woke up late so didnt go to sch..
whole dat at home slacked!! ahahah
here come the best part...
I went to sch just now supposedly for my JPD lesson ... in the end i wasted my time... NO LESSON so made my way hme... then when for my gym training... as usual... guess wat i saw Taufiq Batisah ahaha yeah.. well nthg much just like normal ppl .. training away ...

Yeah thats abt it...

Not emoing for now..

Clearing Doubts
Sooner or Later.. im not sure.. but issit real love this time.. im not sure either ... but if given the chance i'll try ??? ahahx well only god knows.. the answer is in her hands... well im not sure whether she knows.. the pic say it all... ahah just one pic... it should tell every part of it...
there is not need for another pic or issit??
But! should i just tell her instead of hinting like always do..
??
hmm..

Insyallah...

well thats it for now....

It’s so easy to think about love, to talk about love, to wish for love. But it’s not always easy to recognize love... even when we hold it in our hands.

well till here then

To Be continued...

Sight Of Her.

2008-07-05T22:50:00.005+08:00

Let me start by saying that im seriously having doubts of what im going to do now...
Ive yet to set my priorities and where to place my commitment... Trying to do something abt it... somehow or rather things aren't going as what i had alrdy planned... its kinda f-up now... as of now i dont have any plans but just to live life thats it...

Since the last update.. hmm
ok im currently in charge for the cyber corner for the mosque... and still wondering what to do with it...
ok.. hmm

lwets talk abt today...
Morning i had West Council meeting... saturday Morning NCC HQ?
yes no life i know.. ya for ur info A New WEST coming ur way.. for non-ncc dont understand? nvm...

rite after that i head down back to the west side to meet up wit fityan crew to headdown to Madrasah Wak Tanjong for their 5o yrs Jubilee... so yeah din had Van so he dorve us to Wak Tanjong... then hang arnd walk arnd the whole sch... watch Hijjaz Live and i can seriously say that they can sing live.. power... Saw HER!
im like ok from no mood.. seeing her im alrdy like ok chill2.. yeah here come the best part i just look at her didnt smile or say hello like wth?? well we chatted at msn once in a while... so ya i just look at her from far.. ouh ya just to add on i saw my cuz Kak Ain she's teaching there and Zumro which i dunnoe how to say but we're related .. ouhk back to her... i serious didnt talked to her at all??
then we walked arnd again then decide to make our way for late lunch.. so yeah
here comes the crashing part i wanted to say gdbye but when i wave she was like not looking at me or was she... dunnoe.. thats the crashing part down.. iwas so arghh dunoe what to say...

then inside the van.. didnt quite showed it.. but seriously inside...hmm..
when to some place at bedok dunnoe where then ate.. spend my whole 10 bucks... on food...
Then we when to kent ridge park.. thats when i thought wanted to be hyper as usual but cant like wth!... i was slowly emoing... till when we head down to the next place vivo then i started to emo... just keep quite to myself.. ya just follow the crowd....till a point inside the van when din said ehk win diam jek? patah hati pe.. then i was like arghh ... yeah man like totally... and to add on shc starting MONDAY!.. im so not prepared at all for sch.. wth...

Just hope that i somehow could connect wit her.. or the best part we're not meant to be in the first place...

Alone.Again.

Gotta pack things for kayaking which i dont have mood to go!

well thats it for now

Love is acceptance. When you love someone, you take them into your heart and that is surely why it hurts so much when we lose someone we love... because we lose a part of ourselves

well till here then

To be continued...

Losing it

2008-06-27T00:26:00.004+08:00

Been lazy to update cause i spend less much time in front of the comp now...

trying to stay away from comp for the whole of this holiday...

cause i have been staring for the past term almost everyday without fail... which is sucky...

and at the same time i've actually learnt nothing like WTH!??

for now yeah less time on comp..

4e 07 outing..

the whole outing yeah relaxing... only like 1/4 of us was there.. but still an enjoyable one cause its been a long time we all hanged out together.. so yeah we basically slacked the whole day frm afternoon till abt late evening... there was this cleo photo shoot and fuh a beach full all of girls ahaha hot girls to be exact ahahah... played a lillte game of volleyball b4 making my way to the mosque for the graduation of the overseas camp (KRX)

Well the whole graduation was just a small ceremony to share with the parents on the whole camp itself.. had a lil video show b4 the part of giving the letters to the parents... yeap.. a very touchy moment... then a small reception b4 ending it... nice and sweet ending to the whole thing...

Yeap Thats abt it...

SYFOC 08

Nothing Much To elaborate... just that great and a job well done... the whole thing was superb.. to me a mini national day yeah... met new ppl made new frens... quite an exprience...

Congrats to sholihin our Unit Advisor for Jurongville Sec =) hahaha

carried the NCC ensign... Goood Job...

Im Now in a state of i myself not sure of...

Im feel so alone...

To many things thats eating me inside...

Just trying to find anything to hold on to..

For now I'll wait...

Well thats it for now

I’ve seen fire and I’ve seen rain. I’ve seen sunny days that I thought would never end. I’ve seen lonely times when I could not find a friend, but I always thought that I’d see you again

Well till here then

To be Continued...

Unexpected!

2008-06-17T00:37:00.003+08:00

Before I get to the Great Part...
Lets start with e Speciallist CoursE Phase 3

My 1st Spec course... Alot learn from the seniors.. on how spec course is run and stuffs

Marking of cadets.. all i have got to say is that i mark quite strict actually...

ouh ya made great friends my PC Kamarul which also a Pesilat.. Syafiq and Sheng Quan... a whole of things happen... some are classified as in public don need to know... i did quite bit of shopping bought a bag and a face towel.. wanted to buy more.. but in the end didnt...

quite a great exprience working with Eest Disitrict peeps.. bunch of fun ppl!

practice on my TF and review back my IFC knowledge which i suck at quite alot...

wont type much of NCC stuffs this time ahaha

Alpha 2 Section 2

And yes Saturday and Sunday!

3rd Tampines Mini-Grasio..

thats how i speng my weekend.. Saturday... My1st fight.. i was damn nervous... cause my 1st fight didnt trained alot for this comp cause i didnt really wanna joined... in the end just joined.. at 1st i thought that just get it over and done with and then went over to OCS to watch the Commisioning Parade.. In the end i missed it cause Saturday ended at arnd 9 plus..

So my match was at 4 plus... b4 that i had my power nap then warmed up at abt 3 plus... thats when i started to get nervous... then when my name was called suit up with the vest and went into the ring... when the refree or in this case is called Wasit-Juri say Mulai i just go all out... in my mind was like wth am i doing.. punch kick and did abt 2 takedown for the 2 of the round.. and when the result was announced winne was from the RED corner i was quite shock actually I WON... 3-0 ahahah Finals!!!

but that nite when i went home my shoulder was aching due to the takedown that was made by my opponent...

Sunday morning yeah when into the arena just stand around then look at the fixture and i went around trying to figure out who is my opponent,,, my match was at arnd 1 plus ... warmed up a bit and the nervousness was still there cause b4 me got abt 3 ppl frm my team won their finals..

so ya then went into the ring and ya gave all that i got... no takedown this time.. just kicking and punches.. did tru for a takedown but i missed.. so i was like nvm lose then its ok still second silver... then when the announce the results winner from the red corner i was like YEAH!!! GOLD!!! ahahah 2-1... quite lucky .. but nevertheless overall i felt that i didnt really fight that well still need to train more.. Agility.. still need alot of training...

and yeah Gold anyone?? hahaha

Amidst all that...

figuring out.. what to do? where to go? how?

yeah... quite stressed on my own future.. Ive been triying very hard just to pass not even to score.. 50/100?? luck isnt it??

Got to buck up and seriously i dunnoe do smthg abt it??

and all i have got to say now

History Goona reapeat itself once more...

Well thats it for now

True love? I used to believe it existed, but when you’ve had your heart torn out and thrown on the floor, you just don’t care anymore

well till here then

To be continued...

-Exhausted-

2008-06-07T00:48:00.005+08:00

Like finally got time to sit down and update...

hmm let me see where to start??

Ok just for you ppl info.. im in for SYF! ya thats it as Reserved though

ahahha but still SYF ?? ya ok thats it for that

hahahahahah

KRX(Kem Remaja Xchange) ( Youth exchange Camp) 08

Firstly... frankly speaking its the best camp that i have conducted during my time in Fityan assyakirin..

well it was overseas not really that far jsut Ulu Tiram, Johor...but still overseas rite??

second thing i was the the Head Facillator/Programmer so called 2i/c?? ya

its was rather fun as i was in charge so get to do alot of stuffs.. hmm where to start???

The journey was great... yep and participants to me they al were great though got some prblematic once as usual still not quite a prob in handling them...

1st day was rather relax cause had the normal opening workshops... and during that time i was out to recce for Night walk.. which another first for me... a job well done i have to say... i wasnt quite difficult nor easy... safety the most impt of all and yeap night walk start right on time at abt 12 midnight... and looking at evryone face some acted tough while others neutral... at first didnt want to scare anyone as the time goes by we felt quite bores so ahaha start the scaring session made weird noises ahah

cause the night walk its like near to forested area so its like quite spooky somemore earlier that nite got story abt this guy yg kene kacau.. so ppl were quite scared... and ya blah3 till abt 2 nite walk ended had debrief and head for bed.. and the facillator bunking was quite nice not bad... got tv got astro somemore

hahahaha...

2nd day woke up at abt 6 had subuh parayer and changed for PT!!! and of course me and ma bro conducted it NCC style ahahah.. yep i was in guards singlet same as my bro yep had a morning jog a lil bit of 5BX then had games.. or lame games i shud say... well the best part of the was the day was jungle tracking.. wasnt really a prb for me ahaha not to brag or wat cause it feels lke walking at my grands places nye kebun plus a lil bit of gunung ledang ... just that the river crossing jek la was quite exciting seeing ppl scared laa ahaha FUN FUN FUN... not to brag again as me and bro was so called the big guys so i had to helo out ppl in carrying them up and down the river (giving support) so it was like hazwin here hazwan there... ahah at last putting my NCC exprience to good use.. medic wise blahh2 alot3... so the jungle trackking wasnt much of a prblm for most of the guy facis cause of NCC ahahaha

yeap... it was quite amusing seeing this singaporean kid thats pampered that havent seen LIVE chicken or cows ahahah

and yeah of course me as the important person ahah YAY!!!
after that head back to the campsite... had a lil bit debrief and wash up!!

and the crying session begun blah3 yup.. the muhasabah diri...

after going thru this alot of time i was too tired to like sit and go through so i just sat at the back and enjoy listening to the nasyid.. and IM into nasyid now heh...

3rd and final day

nthg much as was a so called relax day had dedication segment... so ya my bro brought his lappy down use the system there and start the dj-ing.. yep so ya thats abt it at abt 12 head back down

singapore go home !!! ahahah

just to add on Food was marvellous ... all kampong style... overall great exprience
and yeah there goes my weekend last week ahaahhaha

KRX 08 a BLAST

here come the best part Mon evening i had my JVS NCC unit annual camp.. wahh the tiredness cant be describe ahaha.. camps back to back... my 2nd time actually having camps back to back...

i was the safety officer... one thing abt the camp alot of casualty like WTH.. reason being chaokeng... ok la for some was serious but others purely acting...

didn't quite slp for most of the night well 1st nite we enjoy the ration packed food.. 1st time eating ration so ya ahahah me and the other clts ate till abt 3 plus b4 heading to bunk and slept till abt 8 plus ...

nthg much of the activities cause for me it was really quite boring... nvm abt that here comes the best part which is the Cohesion Nite... most of it was spontaneous didnt really planned much but still goes on well... me and shol was the emcee for the day and we had to external ppl came down Izuwan frm tanglin and ma bro was the DJ for the day...

too many to tell i i were to continue ahahha

Just rite after the CO nite. it ws hell?? or issit.. supposed to be dicipline based.. ya the other clts took over it.. wasnt really involve YET... so ya had supper shouting here and there... then AAR for the daY... then scram them all to bed... while the officers we had BBQ ahaah quite great Talked alot sidetrack quite a bit... overall BEST...

Had the changing Parade... at abt 4 plus in the morning and the took a bloody hell long time to change to long 4... 25 mins aint that long... so ya screw them.. and its been sometime since i shout at ppl face ... just to wake them up which literary for some.. can doze off while falling in...

then told them they can slp till after CLT took aver the last day of training... as in the 1st half..

i took part b for armdrills .. yep thats abt it for the rest of the day... then break camp at abt 5 plus... then all of us made our way to KFC ahad our own aar... i had to leave first cause got ngaji... yep.. Thats abt it for my JVSS NCC Annual camp.. i have alot of missing things in this post to many to type out.. hahhaz

Overall FUN TIRED BLAST

Up Next

Spec Course Phase 3

Mini Grasio @ Tampines

FDO (FityaN DaY OUT!)

ON a serious note...

Losing it... evrything... doesnt reply my text messages.. and its been quite sometime since the last time we met...

issit still there?? or it wasnt there in the first place??

Hoping that i might get things right this time ...

Love

You

well thats it for now

You have to walk carefully in the beginning of love. The running across fields into your lover’s arms can only come later, when you’re sure they won’t laugh if you trip.

well till here then

To Be Continued

Isn't So Bad After All

2008-05-22T00:17:00.003+08:00

So yup updating .....

let me see...

hmm ok last saturday went out with my peeps frm JVS NCC plus izuwan yeah..
we were collecting our t-shirts then we hung out till late..
i'll just copy wat sholihin post...
haa

today was HELLYEAH MAN!!!hahahaha..we really did stupid things at JURONG EAST TODAY!!.HAHA..really had fun with my all ncc mates..hahaha..here's the story..first we had decent start..just go to J.E library..settle some camps stuff with my JVSSNCC c/offrs..then make our way to CHEVRON..check so stuff price..along the way..we start to JACKASS man!..things were going harewire when we at J.E.C..hazwin went up the opposite way at the escalator..and injured himself..running up the stairs like lost sponge bob!.ass!hahaha..but it was fun..then we played C.S..been ages man!..haha..really had fun killing people!..it was havock in the lan gaming..we created alot of noise in there!..then went to the FUJI ICE SKATING..go there see and laugh at people ice skating!after that we head down to J.E mac..favorite spot!!haha..chit-chat..then head home..before we went home!..we did the most embarrassing in our whole life man!!WE DARE OURSELF TO SIT THE THE JURONG EAST INTCHANGE AT THE GRASS PATCH WITH ALL THE BANGLAS!!OMGOMGOMGOMG!!!..and we really did it man!!..i think most of you knows where is the place..the famous spot of most banglas to hang ard and chit-chat!we were sitting there and cannot stop laughing!but it was fun lah!!we sat abt 10-15mins!..and CWH gave an idea to picnic at that spot on vesak day!!hahahahaha..like HELL NO MAN!!!hahahah..WE TOTALLY JACKASS OUR DAY OUT TODAY!!..i mean anyone would really dare to do this man!totally lose face for a Singaporean!hahaha..but we don't care..what we think all is to have fun!!ahahaha..right guys!..i tell you!..CWH really want to do that again!!hahahahah..and he will be reading this!dont forget to tagg!!hahahahha

so ya thats what happene last sat JACKASS
just to add i injured myself running up the down escalator...
ouh ya we did the same thing for vesak day hols... just that this we hung at West Coast Park and w/o wei hao... yeah the same thing Jackass and partial emo.. heheh

Had My Class reunion on Tuesday Nite.. wasn't really the whole class just my malay peeps..
cause Zul came down to S'pore so he was the one plan to meet up...
so yup we met him at IMM sky garden issit.. and wow i tell its like the best meeting them...
so what people say really true ...
Secondary friends are really great.. those who there was basically almost evryone...
Zaki, Zulfikar, Fazli, Ismail, Ameerul.Amalina, Azri, Mariah, Shafwana, Hakim.. yeap
ystd was really fun... had dinner at IMM LJS then made our to some where at JE hung out reliving all the stupid funny things that happen at our class 4E 07
and of course ME in the centre stage... Laughed our way through the nite..
yeap fun... and cant cant wait for the next outing... soon...

Now on a serious note...
Im wondering whether issit me or her???
well for me i always about me... well im trying my best not to keep this feeling to my self anymore... one day.. just one day i'll fix one fine day so that i can meet her and just tell her how i really feel about her... no point keeping it like i always do ... like the last time i wait and wait and wait till she was became someone else... so yeah i better get the courage soon or better still now... to just tell her... yes I WILL soon...
the only thing is the rejection which i'll have to learnt to face it...

"rela akhirnyaku terluka dariku hidup tanpa kenal cinta mu"

And this song really have alot of meaning to me...

Cinta ini tak mungkin ku cegah
Ayat-ayat cinta bercerita
Cintaku padamu
Bila bahagia mulai menyentuh
Seakan ku bisa hidup lebih lama
Namun harus ku tinggalkan cinta
Ketika ku bersujud

well thats it for now

Love is acceptance. When you love someone, you take them into your heart and that is surely why it hurts so much when we lose someone we love... because we lose a part of ourselves

well till here then

To be continued...

Reminding Myself

2008-05-15T23:05:00.004+08:00

I've been saying to myself day after... reminding myself

NO SACRIFICE NO VICTORY

Ive been getting the f-up feeling this past few days evrytime i go to school which i dunnoe y??

also like i always say things are always too good to be true...

i was enjoying my first few weeks of school.. but things doesnt always look like it seemed.. issit going to happen again??

im not sure...

so i hope that i can blend in with the ppl in dover... just go through everything and pass with a good GPA...s ound so easy but it ain't easy...

On a lighter side last Saturday BBQ FIESTA '08 was actually quite great... well as usual i was in charge of logistics and Food and Beverage... thanks to fir who came down on that they although he had other matters to attend to but the did came down...

ya i was the Chef of the day... YEAH... Bbbq-ing that they was awesome the charcoal was great the heat was just nice... everything seem to went into place nicely... yeah so i was like in front of the bbq pit for like the whole evening till night... didnt really care much of what happen with the programme...

overall its fun and great.. and lots lots of experience gained... I now you now public no need to noe...

haahax

hanged out with my Jvs NCC Peeps.. its been a long time since i hanged out with everyone been missing alot this few weeks.. well emoing... cant help it... i'll get to that later... it was great hanging out with rafiq's quirks at library... was really funny... weihao laughed till he cried

ahaahaha yeah too bad im goona miss the training tmr cause dwn for student council stuffs at dover...

side tracking

i now how u feel... been there b4 situation like this its hard to go through... but dont worry or dwell abt it.. just have faith in urself and dont ever say u r wrong cause u r not... things might not always be on urside... cause if its always on urside than its not life... k?

so just pick it up and be strong the next time this happen nothing can stop u...

Im always here 24/7...

ok back...

im missing her so so badly...

still waiting...

shud i go for it..??

or just wait here in silent and in the end someone else gets her.. and i'll be emo

like wat i always do??

please if its true show me a sign....

well thats it for now....

I wished on a star, every single night. I would never give up. I'd wish with all my might. Till finally I realized my wish came true, when you realized you loved me too

well till here then

To be continued...

All alone now.

2008-05-06T22:42:00.004+08:00

It hasn't been a great week for me...

lets start hmm with the so call West-Bbq...
it was smthg that i looked foward the whole week... and as usual when i always imagine things iw wont go the way that i want...
well it isnt that bad yet but it isnt that good... get what i mean..
went there with thought that its gonna be wild u know like always west gathering...
some things doesnt feel right that day...
so ya just enjoy my time there... eat then abt 8 we made our back... the plan was to go to bukit batok meet fahmy and play soccer in the end cancelled so i join wildcats at Mac... sat around chatted for a while then went home...

My nearest event is coming up the BBQ fiesta '08
Things may may not go well on that they which is this saturday...

it should be okay... but just that im sure there will be people nt happy with small stupid hiccups thats going to happen... hierachy lah protocols lahh.. ya its standard operation protocols (SOP) but its like just a bbq... sometime i just think why is there such people.. but nevermind...

lets just do it... and do it my best! as usual...

School was okay.. but u know things always dont look like what it seemed...maybe ist just to good to be true...facing the facts slowly...and im kinda sure somehow history gonna repeat itself again sooner or later...

Why WHY why???

its not just sch but it effect everything ncc too??? which i thought wasnt going to happen but like i say again its too good to be true... its just me?? or isnt...

and can sense the slight drift..? issit my feelings or its a fact... but im sure theres the drift and im trying my very best to move things up... the more i try the more we're apart...

i need you... here right now...

cant help it... the fear is in me... the dark history will soon repeat... and i guess i'l have to be my old self?? trying my very best not to bring back that side of me ... but the environment and the surroundings is making me doing that!

its been a pleasure serving... but i guess the time is up???

well thats it for now

Love is hardest to find and easiest to lose. We recognize a true love when we realize that the only one who can console us is the one who caused the pain.

well till here then

To be continued...

Undesirable state

2008-04-29T00:02:00.003+08:00

Lack of updates...

cause i dont think there are frequent readers to my blog so ya.. thats the reason...

Quite a week..

Sch been ok... so far... Having quite a hard time coping and understanding all the stupid networking, system admin and a whole lot more... just did my 1st assesment and guess what i failed ahahax ya..

well keep studying?? we'll see...

other than that i applied for a place in Dover student council (SC)

well let see whether i got in or not...

other than that nthg much.. just like another they...

JVS NCC

Had A meeting with our Commanding Officer (CO) at last we had trash out all the things that this new JVS NCC is going to be... well what i can say is that everything looks nice on paper BUT

for me dont know abt the rest... there's this feeling that telling me that it wont be easy thats for sure but the more important thing is whether issit gonna be reality or issit just all talk no action???

ya... somehow i guess we will make sure it becomes reality??

on the lighter side... Probation for my C/offr rank almost ending hahahz

so looking forward to it.. June 10 C/2Lt hahahx wooohoo...

and i seriously missing wildcats... dunnoe whether the rest of us feeling the same way too????

Fityan Assyakirin...

wel my mosque activities is so doubling up... ahahx

yeap alot of projects going to come... went fot a meeting last week for the all the event heads and committee meeting... ya things seemed to be pretty smooth actually...

and alot of events coming up.. ya

And for those ppl out there whoe are keen to join Assyakirin Mosque Youth (Fityan Assyakirin)

just approach me and i'll be more than glad to help u with ur membership...

It all seemed nice...

but like what ppl say a picture say thousand words same as for us human...

on the outside it may look ok... but deep inside only god knows...

there something inside me.. confusing?? maybe??

arghh i dont know... but do i need help???

and it so feel like history gonna repeat itself.. i dont see it happening yet but... i can feel that things are going towards that direction... just hoping for the best.. ya...

Really2 and im serious that im so missing her...

but issit really true this time?? can i trust myself again when it had let me astray till it affected my studies??? hahx i myself still thinking... but if then why am i missing her... im sure theres something more than that...

issit one sided like always... havent got the courage to ask...

waiting...

QuRaIsHiAh

well thats it for now...

Love is rose, but you better not pick it. It only grows while it’s on the vine. A handful of thorns and you know you missed it... you lose your love when you say the word "mine."

well till here then

To be continued...

Wake Up Your Bloody Idea.

2008-04-19T00:47:00.005+08:00

Hahhaz that's what went thru my mind on my way hme just now...

before that

Tdy was
Jurongville's Fund-Raising Dinner...

supposed to be the glorious day for JVS NCC tdy cause our Guest of Honour was Mr Lim Boon Heng (Minister in The Prime Minister's Office)
we were supposed to have a Welcome Guard today but it didnt happened cause the proposal sent rejected.. hahx
So ya in the end the sch planned smthg else which was quite easy... Me, Rafiq, Sholihin and Hakim wasn't supposed to be there... the reason we're there is to "kill time" cause we're used to having our fridays filled with ncc activity hahax
ya in the end we so called in charge of UG...
sat around for a while before our dear Mr Bryan Kang find us a table... a Vegetarian table actually which hahahx
so ya nvm jst sit cause y free food hahahx
so ya sat the whole time there jackass-ing gaggagaga
took quite a number of pics.... waitin for shol to upload the pics..
then after the whole vent over continued to cam-whore issit the right term?? jhahah
ya took pics again talked around befor making our way to our usual spot at the canal ahhaa
sat for like abt 5 mins then we cannot tahan thirsty so make pur way to Mr Teh Tarik cause our
usual LC(local cafe) enaq close down or wat i dunnoe hahaa
at teh tarik a few JVSian were that hanging out... so ya sat there chatted for a while then made my way home... rafiq shol wei hao walked hme and hakim went home with syafiq...

so ya
i kept think the line that they said... though it was just a casual remarked it made me seriously think about my life... at first was at the table during the dinner... if im not wrong then looking at the current NCC cadets of my school just reminded me on how i suffered during my sec sch time... all the chao-keng that lead to ppl hating me and stuffs... well just a simple msg to my ncc cadets.. NCC isnt your life but your career in SAF yes...
then at teh tarik as usual talked abt girls then it made me think... some how the fear that history gonna repeat it self is really2 scaring me..
so ya "wake up your bloody idea" i should alway remind myself of this line so that i wont astray to my old ways...
seriously i really appreciate my bros in NCC that hepled me change my ways without them i might be the most hated person???

thnks guys... ouh ya

HAPPY BDAE ABDUL RAFIQ hahax

Love

i just can't seem to be sure of the feeling...

issit love?? or just a passing crush...the only way is to take risk like go straight to girl that kind of stuffs... not so sure..

always hoping for the best...

BUT...

i think that this girl is the one??? im not sure as usual...

hmm

will just keep repeating these words...

I

L
o
v
e

Y
o
u

q

well thats it for now

It’s so easy to think about love, to talk about love, to wish for love. But it’s not always easy to recognize love... even when we hold it in our hands

well till here then

To be continued...

A New Journey...

2008-04-16T22:40:00.004+08:00

Ok before that....

hmm

I shall share abt my experience for the 55th COC Flag Party that happened last week...

well many of wildcats not there due to camps and stuff nvm its ok.. haha

looking forward to BBQ yay!!!

I booked in for the flag party ya for the whole 3 days... and it was quite great lah well saving transport money was part of the reason actually

ya... hang out with alot of ppl during the whole 3 days

Great great experience!!!

ahahax

ouh ya not to forget my bro apit was the parade 2IC!!! wow

ahaha

Congrats bro not to forgetting the rest my bro's Hakim and Wei Hao...

ahahx yeah....

woohoo

well although my drills didn't really there but well is an exprience for me hahaa next stop NCC ensign or West Ensign and i completed my flag party hahaha

other than that during the whole 3 days learnt alot about being a clt ahahx thnks to all..

Supernumerary Outing...

a great outing with the supernumerary family... though i wasnt the the trainer for adc...

ya great bunch of peeps... pics still waiting for sholihin to sent me...

SCHOOL

like finally after 3 months of holiday sch started.. well as usual i hate 1st day of sch being the only one in the class dunnoe anyone just hate the feeling...

well ite wasn't really that bad or good it kinda like normal for me... well maybe its only the first week... let just wait for the rest of it to come...

and its been quite hard for me to cope cause of the terms and all the stupid networking stuffs..

my classmates arent that bad either bunch of great ppl i guess...

hmm

well the one word to describe the whole feeling in school would be

UNCERTAINTIES

trying my very best to adapt to the ways...

well the best part is actually about my time table hahaha

i only go to sch like 3 times a week ahahaha no sch on Mondays and Fridays...

but as usual nothing comes easy for the 3 days i have really long hours in sch...

like 8 to almost 6... woohoo

super late....

other than that i dunnoe what cca to join

hahahahx

yeah thats abt it for sch...

Im Now Waiting and trying to see whats coming...

well the journey back home with was really great.... just seeing her face hearing her voice really

made my day...

Just hope that someday she'll be mine...

=)

I

L
O
V
E

Y
O
U

well thats it for now

We came together underneath the stars above. What started out as liking soon turned into love. I sensed a certain something that in my heart felt true. I knew I waited all my life to fall in love with you

till here then

To be Continued...

Roller Coaster Of Feelings

2008-04-09T01:51:00.005+08:00

Heya People..

Updates...

been lazy to update cause i dont even know whether i got any readers hahaax..

hmm

7th Centralised Affirmation Ceremony

i wasnt in any committee so i came down with my sch and a slack ahahaha

quite great actually i free ride to Singapore Indoor Stadium (SIS)

Quite a great show ( i think)

Overall i enjoyed it very much... get to me all the wildcats hahax.. somehow im like the only one ok maybe not thats still tryinh to relieve the moments during 54th Cadet Officers Course.

ahahhx

and ya i hang around and help out with the usherers... then when into the Dining Room or smthg where all the big people are...

and we hang there till everyone leave... and its practically like the whole west left there ahahx

quite fun...

then made our way back to the west side...

and hang again at LJS...well only some of us... then most leave only left me twin hashim sholihin and jack fahmy... made our way to imm and bought Doughnuts... and chill at the imm park like vivo think till late... talk craps and joke around... b4 making my wat home.. ya so thats abt it...

some pics...

Im now joining silat hahaha like finally...

and it really felt so wrong la

hahaah

im like trainig with kids and seriously KIDS 4 5 yrs old

ahahah paiseh but nvm... hack care just train and the first fees really killing and burning my pockets .... $72 damn ahah

so ya dunnoe how long i will last in it...

And im so looking foward for my buddies to past out from their course this FRIDAY...

IM LAND ENSIGN btw hahahx so ya... well its 2 more days and POP... so ALL THE BEST ...

ahahx hmm new JVSS NCC soon very soon...

Be The Best Among The Rest

well thats it for now

Since the first time you ran your fingers through my hair, since the first time our hands became one, since the first time your kisses took away my pain... I knew I’d never be the same

Well till here then

To be Continued...

Something From The Past

2008-04-04T00:25:00.002+08:00

I dont know how to explain...
something its happening and i have a feeling history is going to repeat itself...
arghhh
everything is too good to be true...
Its always like that i and i ant help it... but its me... thats the way that i work...
you cant simply always please everybody rite???
im not that offended.. just that it really tells me where i stand...
its people view and you cant change how people think about you...
i just hope that i can keep continuing how to be a really good leader...
perhaps a legend that people might look up to???
many recent events slowly helping me to WAKE UP MY BLOODY IDEA!!!
since ADC or even before ADC i think...
just hoping for the best... and eventually be the best...
I believe the line between a leader and its subordinate really cant be crossed to any extend...
thats why just realise an learnt... no matter how close you are or how high your rank is... a leader and the subordinate or trainer or trainee... theres supposed to be a line..
so ya and not only that...
Dont always judge a book by its cover....
always and always see whats the content of the book...

nothing beats realising that 'her' that you've have been trying to get is not the one thats really for you...
its always someone that sitting there quietly thats always be there for you and you dont realise it... so ya guys... think abt it might be, might not be true....

well thats is for now...

Love is what you wish for by day. Love is what you dream about at night. You dream and wish of love, but it seems as though you’ll never find it. Then all of a sudden it comes. All that you’ve wished and dreamed for is there, just a hundred times better. And you know that nothing you could have ever imagined could compare to the way you feel when you’re with your love

well till here then

To Be Continued...

When Dreams Become Reality

2008-04-01T00:53:00.003+08:00

Ok Guys

Like Finally im updating ahhaa

been lazy to update...

Ok Its Official that i graduated from my religious class after 10 years of education...

Sun was the so called 'Speech And Prize Giving Day' for my religious class

so ya it was one heck of a event. Not really a cock up. Just that it was all over the place ya...

well Fityan was there to help out and guess what.. we were told to do smthg and in the end we made to do smthg else ahhaa

ouh ya i performed for the event...

Pics are still not uploaded yet... will upload once i gotten it...

well in the end it was quite an event...

55th COC Land Ensign

and Yeah ahaha

went for my second selection for Flag Party and im selected woohooo

well my first was affirmation falg party and i didnt got in... so ya

and it was really unexpected coz i thought i got like the west flag or smthg but in the end i got the LAND flag... ahahaz

really honoured to be carrying the flag representing the land.... jyeah

i was actually quite nervous... as usual...

then i was like arghh just try ah... and went SM announce the result i was like YEAHH!!

LAND ENSIGN... cause there was like alot other ppl that are more exprience with flags and all that...

im really proud of myself.. ahhaa a dream come true

well i did pity shol ah cause we plan to go for into the flag party together...

nvm shol im sure there's always a next time...

Im now wondering and have been doing some soul searching...

the L-O-V-E has a greater meaning to me now cause i believe

there still lots to learn abt it... but

no matter what...

i will and always love her and cherish each conversation, moments that we had

together...

I LOVE YOU!!!

Well thats it for now...

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own

well till here then...

to be continued...

Holding On

2008-03-22T00:33:00.004+08:00

K this gonna be a random one...
i have alot coming my way now... with sch around the corner it feels like im not prepared at all for whats coming...
not stressed just that it feels wrong...
but nevertheless im trying my best to cope ahhaa

ok enough of the crap part...

I have alot of events coming up with my youth activties(FITYAN) still recruting anyone???
i have this overseas camp(Johor , Malaysia) ahha around june and planning is underway
and also Kids Xtreme Adventure (KXA 08) well alot happening at the mosque for the youth side...

hmm other than that

Sat when to beach rd with ma peeps well they need to sew their name tags ans stuff .. well CDT ma? ahaha lols lucks to all ma peeps in 55th dont worry u guys will be fine im sure... hahhaa
To Serve with pride and dedication

Then after that i make my way to my uncles place... for karaoke session... also like gathering with my cuzzies... ya so i sang ahaha man i sound pretty good actually.. hehhee..
well hang out till late abt 11 plus like that... then me twin and mum plus my cuzzie zali went home... zali sleep over at my place.... so as usual macdonalds for supper... my mum too had supper with us while watching Horton till abt 2 plus ahhaa
well it had been sometime for my mum hang out and watch movie with us...
then mum when to bed so left me twin and zali so we hang out at watch jackass clips at youtube .. halfway through twin slept.. then me and zali watch whose line is it anyway till abt 4 plus then we knocked up....

Woke up at abt 11 plus...
bathe and planned to go to funan to look for my internet router... but suddenly syahidah called(we call syidah for short) so ya syidah called zali and ask whether we want to join her family outing... zali ask us... and i was like wth.. i dont know her parents... but wth just crash...
when to woodlands to meet syidah and her parents so pick us up at wdlnds civic centre..
then went to East Coast... well its beeen sometime since i set put at ECP... ouh ya i alrdy when to the new highway KPE ahahathe moment we reach there me twin and cuzzie cant stop making syidah laugh... well it was pretty fun hang in oout with her...
syidah called her cuzzie along too diyanah who coincidentally dian kamelia's friend... my ex-schmate at shuqun pri....
we cycled and stuffs talk laugh... it had been somtime since i hang out at the beach and have fun... the last ime i hanng out was like only for kayaking....
been months since i last kayak...
kayaking anyone????
well i really spent great time talking with syidah while cycling enjoying each other company...
took some pics too... upload soon...
the ride back from ECP to wdlnds was great too... me twin zali and syidah sat at the back of the lorry so it was pretty windy...
laugh and sang otw back...
well ya thats abt it... one word FUN

im now slacking annd just enjoying the last few weeks of hols b4 my term start...
lets just hope that its going to be fine there...

-L_0-V_E-

im now just sitting by the window reminicing the time that
we used to be together... and hope that it will happen again....
i guess all im left with is only memories of u...
please let me love you...
its been years that we lost contact with each other
maybe its fated that we meet again ...
I LOVE YOU
<3

Well thats it for now

When you hold someone, hold them like it's the last time you'll ever see them. and when they leave, don't give them reasons to stay... give them reasons to return

well till here then

To be Continued...

Think Straight We Are Ahead Up Chest We Are The Best

2008-03-16T23:10:00.003+08:00

dedicated to my dearest who is having flu

hehe...

Ok ya back to the title

Finally A Supernumerary...

to those who dont know what it is... its just another NCC course i went thru...

its one of the most prestiges course...

well i learnt alot during the four days of the course... sword drills-flag drills... alot more...

not only that.... i also learnt alot on being professional in my line of duty...

other than that the whole camp was like a normal NCC camp...

not only that during these 4 days, i was under the living legend... C/LTA Iman Nashoha...

his one heck of a leader... too bad i cant have the chance to work with him...

but nevermind... being a trainee under was also considered a privilage...

the best part is this was his last camp... and the whole Supernumerary family send him off for his National service on a good note...

ya that was what i really cherish during the four days... rather a fun and alot of things that i learnt....

ya nothing much for me to blog about the camp... cutting most of the details...

ouh ya... i was the OIC for the Passing Out Parade which didnt happened due to the rain

hahax so it was a ceremony instead... and didnt quite cock up... hahhax

other than that... im just back to my normal life...

hmmm

just that after these my ncc peeps dont label me as a cocky or wateva supernumerary cadet officer... im still hazwin... just that i carry a more responsiblity and expectation as a supernumerary..

Im now in a state where... i think im loving her...

YES! i love her... BUT does she have someone else???

i really dont know... i just hope that this time it will be true...

if ur reading this then yes its you... but its okay if u have someone else in ur heart...

..........

well thats for now...

If you love someone, don’t take them for granted. Treasure every moment with them and don’t ask why... just realize that you’re lucky and love them more

well till here then...

To be Continued...

Camps Camps MORE Camps

2008-03-07T01:38:00.003+08:00

One after another...

Just came back from CAMP FEAST 2(CF2)...

it was rather a great exprience as my post was PC for Zulu 6... the company name was rather ridiculus lah Yankee And Zulu... well nthg much for the camp as usual... book in the night b4 had briefing on job scope, the camps blah3 the usual stuffs...

My APC for this camps was Sai And Hashim... well we really work well together as team for the camp... well i told them that we will slack and chill for this time... had some cock up and i really learn alot this time around as a PC...

Just that this camp, the cadets were them F-up... firstly some of them are really snobbish people cant stand it... and out of the sch ACS(I) was the one giving me prblem... Conclusion cadets now are damn pampered...

Just after the camp went down for the opening of the new sea training centre at Upper Seletar Reservoir supposingly for marshalling duty but in the end i did practically nothing cause it was raining... hahx slacked all the way.. hang out with the sea peeps for a while.. they asked me to help out for thier annual kayaking expedition... dont think i can make it... i have more than enough things that i have to juggle with...

Had meeting with members of my Assyakirin Mosque Youth Movement (FITYAN) for the upcoming Mini Heart Camp this Saturday to confirm all the final details of the camp... its not going to be so busy for me i think cause my post will be admin.. so i think i will just sit and type the whole camp... muahhahaha...

the camp is actually about knowing urself better kind of camp... self reflection, spritually , physically , mentally .... so thats abt it... not really quit involve with the camp... but rather stressed is i have alot more up coming event to plan for the year... like the exchange program with Hwa Chong Institution and River Valley High...

and finally the camp that im really been waiting ( i think)

3RD Advance Drill Course

im really scared lah have not prepared for the course as in i have not even memorised my Supernumerary Creed darn it... and the best part many of my Cadet Officers peeps is my trainer..and its going to be a 4days 3 nite camp... arghh.. damn... another long week...

ouh ya... after the fityan meeting... my peep din had a car so he drove me and the others home otw home we went to eat at MR Teh Tarik... here's the best part.. i followed him to change car with his boss cause the car he drove need to be return... then went for test drive at jalan bahar...

damn power lah... MITSUBISHI cars are one hack of a machine... well we when to test see how fast can the car go... the pick up its damn nice lah.. 165 almost 170km/h...

really enjoy it... 1and a half year more and im going to have my license hahax...

Im now in a state where im confused... dont know what to do...

things are just not right... nothing is right or wrong between us...

i cant bear to see her with him but its better for her to be with him

rather than be with me... and according to some people they are just frens..

and she treats me like a friend not more not less???

starts to lose the feeling day by day...

dont leave behind any trace...

well thats it for now....

If the people we love are stolen away from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever

well till here then...

To be conitnued....

Pride And Dedication???

2008-03-01T01:04:00.004+08:00

A week of NCC...

hahax???

this post are mostly about ncc stuff..and for those of you who are sick and tired of reading abt my ncc stuff..u can just use ur mouse and click the BACK button on the top left hand corner!

(quoted by shol) hahax

ok mon nhtg much just sit around at home and look thru paper for a job and went for my gym training as usual..

tues was the start of my NCC week....

when down to hq at abt 5 plus... met my guys taufiq and syafiq at JE int and then make my way to hq blk 245 for my selection for Affirmation Ceremony Colour's Party... well i didnt make it thru darn... due to my stationary drills kebelakang pusing... my flag drill was ok... that was wat SM said... and so im back to my cheerleading for AC... =)

Wed had my liferange also at HQ... there goes my ezlink... Adult fare.. arghh driving me insane...

had lil bit of cock up for range this time and got this GSI fellows doing random inspection during range... and so i was the let me see the usher for that day bring the details for firer in and out.. was quite easy la for my first range.. here comes the best part... half way through i join zhong hong and nick to go for my ADC briefing... woohoo

finally going to be a Supernumerary SOON.. ahahx jyeah man

and so when for the briefing sat there and listen to wat SM gotta say for the whole course... blah3

b4 joining my guys at the amoury to help them clean rifles =)

then when up to west office met wildcats not all.. sat around chat for a while till abt 8 plus then when to Causeway Point to have dinner... then went home.... actually got smthg happen during dinner but dont think it would be appropriate to share...

Thurs went down to hongkah NCC training which was supposed to be my 1st time accessing a sch but hey.. hkss screw up they planned for a wrong thing so there i go walk around the school and did practically nthg... total waste of time i guess...

had training just now.. nthg much also cause part c had their mutual and the other's was having games day which i didnt joined... alot of normal stuffs went to our Local Cafe(LC) enaq had a drink and hang out at our usual spot...

and there u go a week of NCC hahahx

take that!

ermms

ouh ya just for some ppl who dunnoe like my 54th peeps... i used to be emo so ya hahax some of my earlier post was rather emo like wat fangs said hehex

and so im now jst feeling rather screwed up inside me i dunnoe why ??? am i really going insane or wat... things have been really sucky though some was okay like ncc and stuffs but still...

there this feeling inside me and my mind really not helping at all... really...

i may look okay at the outside... but inside only god knows what im feeling.. arghhh.. help.

i may be suffering from smthg here.. dunnoe... issit depression??.. nope dont think so...

well let me just control things and take it a step at a time aites...

i really thing that its impossible that i could be with her...

cause somehow or rather she dont see me as more then a friend??? am i rite?? yeah maybe..

my instinct telling me that... she really deserves someone much and way better than me...

let me just sit here and here my heart cracking....

well thats it for now

I don’t want to wake up and realize what I was dreaming was right in front of my shut eyes. I don’t want to stop saying hellos for fear of saying good-byes

Till Here then

To Be Cointinued...

Its Official.

2008-02-22T23:48:00.003+08:00

And so the letter had been sent... and Im out...

aft the 1week plus of sch i guess im not cut out to retake o lvl..

so ITE it is...

the decision was rather easy actually... received my JAE result and then i suddenly smthg came to me and i decide to go for ITE... like finally a DECISION...hahax...aft debating disccussing ahaha...

Ouh ya

Just wanna say SORRY all that i had cause inconvienience and THANKS to all that helped me during my fickle mind moment...

HAHAHA lols...

So back to my hols again... starting sch some where April

ITE Dover Network Security Technology

Life's back to normal

More NCC haha...

and rotting at home... which is ok? or not??

Looking around for jobs now...

slacking i guess....

went for IMT ystd.. well as usual i was the chamber I/C ... IAs and stuffs...

and i must say im impressed with some of the YISS cadets... damn they are good shooters lols

then aft that when for dinner at JP KFC with hasiff nazif and akmal...

then made our way hme...

had JVS training tdy..

company strength was ok.. 94/122

but attitude wise??? hmm still not there yet... regimentation sucky actually.. but other than that evrything seems to be OKay... as always room for improvement... cant be perfect rite?

nthg interesting happen... when to KFC with my bro's as usual Benazir sane sini then Bapak ko

alot of nonsense...

hang out at KFC till abt 9 plus then went home...

as usual rotting now ahaha

_L_O_V_E_

i believe im now not any near her...

but i am sure that i love here cause smthg inside me jst knew...

but what can i do... just love her from a distance...

will always and still cherish each moment with you

I LOVE YOU.....

well thats it for now

When there seems like there is no one left to run to in this empty world of ours, you can come to me and I will be your shooting star. You can tell me your dreams. I can’t promise that I can make them come true, but I will be there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, if your dreams happen to fall through

well till here then

To be continued...

Risky Decision

2008-02-19T22:59:00.005+08:00

ok..

lets start frm the Cadet Officer's forum and fiesta last fri...

what can i say it was a bomb... great i think

welll firstly i didnt go for forum ... ahhax

had to prepare for the performance during fiesta which didnt go really well... but nvm...

its okay considering our 1st performance for NCC ... audience was so so....

the great part was the clubbing....

everyone didnt expect it at all.. it was like all the lights were switched off and music start pumpin....

it was freaking cool... so we dance the thru the night till abt 11 plus .... then cleaned up the MPH as usual must be US... then made our way to YCK mrt to catch the last train ahaha...

it was freaking late... then the best part i missed my train at JE so me my bro gordon and nazif pool cab home...

went to Mac Je grab a bite then made our way hme....

Sat

Met hasiff at abt 11 plus... returning the keyboard to L cube....

after that roamed arnd and ending up at Je entertainment ... had lunch at KFC then made our way to K pool... cause most wildcats not free to join us...

played til 4 plus then i went hme...

Sun

had kenduri at my aunts place so spent the whole day there ... just chillin

eat chill and sleep...

ahaha

Mon & tues

Nthg much happen had eng mock test on mon...

TODAY

ive made my decision to finally move on to tertiary education.. yup

got my results for JAE ... and i think schoolling is really not for me so ya...

going to DOVER..

told my principal... well i was damn paiseh to tell them but its regarding my future

so ya ite it is...

LOVE

hmm... i think she has someone else i supposed...

looking thru pics.... relieving the moments together...

and missing every part of it...

i just dunnoe wat to do... things are just not going the way they shud be goin..

the best thing is to let nature take its course...

i LoVe U .....

well thats it for now

I don’t want to wake up and realize what I was dreaming was right in front of my shut eyes. I don’t want to stop saying hellos for fear of saying good-byes

Till here then

To be Continued...

Square One

2008-02-11T23:06:00.000+08:00

Went I stepped, alot was going thru my mind just now morning...

no words cant described what i really felt just now...

most of the question on my mind was did i make the right choice???

wasnt confused just that im scared that i would repeat the same mistake again...

so did i really make the right choice... hmm...

Choices has consequences

No Sacrifice No Victory

But i had to sacrifice the only thing i excel so far is NCC... or not??

we'll see how things goes??... but is really disheartening for me if i cant serve..

PRIDE PASSION PROFESSIONALISM

just see how it goes...

Ouh ya

how did i spent my CNY hols???

yeah

i worked at NIGHT SAFARI...
well it was fun environment but rather tiring job...

working at BONGO Burgers... i was dining basically i had have to clear and clean tables and stuffs....

in the same time made new friends... Shahidah and Shirin...

the pay for the job was quite okay...

and at least got myself a decent MP3 player at creative using the pay...

Love

Each time look and stare at the picture...

displaying it...

i dunnoe whether its really a good hint...

i dunnoe how to tell u.. but i will tell u SOON..

im not scared of rejection just that whether i am really good for you

or there is someone else better...

but what i know im sure i really love you...

Let me be the reason for u to smile...

Well thats abt it...

Some people say the worst way to miss someone is when they are right next to you and you know you can't have them, but it's worse when you thought you didn't want them anymore and then all of a sudden you realize you can't live without them

well till here then

to be continued...

No Sacrifice No Victory...

2008-02-06T00:11:00.000+08:00

did i make the wrong choice???

been asking this question for the past few days...

Sch?? ITE??? Private O????

the decision making is actually not that difficult... what makes me so fickle minded abt this is actually my mum...

And now out of all this i have to sacrifice my rank not really sacrifice just that have to stop. reason being im not in tertiary edu.. which is correct la SOP...

to some ppl might think im crazy or smthng but if u r passionate abt something then u should know how it feels to lose smthng precious...

same goes for signing on SAF as a career to some its like are crazy or what??? but to those who passionate it will be a totally diffrent view... field camps not bahting for 7 days... wth...

This is what that make me think of going to ITE... on the other hand i kept thinking about my mum... i feel so guilty letting her down that is why i chose to go back to school but didnt know it would be this difficult as in for my ncc...

twin is doing so well ah although stuck in RP which is totally ridiculus for a 14 pointer.. but his doing fine...( i guess )

dont why must it be always me who spoil it on the family... am i jinx or what???ARGGHHH

there is still chance for me to change my mind ( i think ) BUT i going to be screwed big time for making a fickle minded decision...

TICK TOK TICK TOK.... clocks ticking and i still can decide whether i have made the right choice?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

So should i cant really think right now...

should i follow my head, heart, both or none....

Why do others make it look so easy scoring 10 11 12... but still they are not happy and i dunnoe why... shouldnt they be happy... cmon la whats 10 11 comparing to 31????

i look thru the ITE website... and i realise its not so bad after all....

well i think i will find my final stand....

NO SACRIFICE NO VICTORY

Love

Just keeping this feeling inside me...

when the time comes i will tell...

For now...

loving her from a distance is the only thing im able to do now...

well thats it for now...

Knowing you love someone is easy. Saying it out loud is the hard part.

well till here then

to be continued....

Dreams Shattered

2008-01-30T23:34:00.000+08:00

Been lack of updates...
well firstly i dunnoe whether there are people reading my blog...
secondly been emoing since last thurs...

if u ask y well isnt it obvious enough... I screw my Os big time...
it just sux big time....
firstly twin bro scored like 14 and i scored 31??
wtf??
when i saw the result last thurs... i was like wth?? didnt cry at first... but inside wa really hurting and i tell at that point of time nothing seems important to me... it really felt like the end of the world... i was sad partially abt the results but the worse was i really let down my parent who worked har just to send to school and stuff... it just felt so wrong...
but after sometime when my mum came i was like back to my ownself started smiling but deep inside only god knows....

yeah so thats abt my Os results... feeling much better now i think??

just cameback from campfeast yesterday...overall for me campfeast was great...
good exprience for me.. i was a TANGO 4 apc... i really learnt alot about being a cadet officer its not easy and the same time its not that difficult... we had to book in Sunday...
was supposed to go for jamming session but didnt cause i was emoing and also tired.. so cancelled.. in the end i just met the guys at AMK hub to have dinner... then book in...
had briefing then disscussion... finally rest for the day...
woke up had breakfast.. then in processing was there till abt ten b4 making my way to meet mr shawal for my decision making ...

And I SCREW up cause now im having second thoughts whether to stay back.... rank at stake ppl... to some ppl they just might say why waste time wif ncc... just ncc... then all the start all the nonsense abt ncc dont bring me anywhere think abt my future blah3... im like what the heck??
thats the only place thing that keeps me going and make me feel happy...
aRGGHH F**K those ppl... some just dont understand the passion...
thats all i got now... i have already lost my Os im not going to loose the ONLY thing that keeps me alive...
im going to be my oldself arghh emo...

THIS IS JUST SO WRONG....

then head back to hq... cant emo at hq cause its campfeast but i just kept thinking abt my results... second day nothing much happen i did emo during outprocessing ... but just cant help myself to top the emoing cause evryone was happy...
i felt really out of place..
my guys were all like 13 14 pointers and some are like 7 6 and even 2... me 31??

where to go for now....my O lvl cert?? passion ??

Love...
i cant even think abt it... i really cant think..
seriously... i dont think its for me now...

P.S. im may sound like im contradicting myself..

thats it for now...

True love? I used to believe it existed, but when you’ve had your heart torn out and thrown on the floor, you just don’t care anymore.

well till here then

to be continued

L-O-V-E

2008-01-20T00:06:00.000+08:00

the title
talk abt it later part of the entry..
lets update

early this week been ROTTING and home for a couple of days..
not really rot but still rot??? hahx cause i went for my gym training which i think wasnt fruitful at all... :(

then Friday had IMT at SAFTI
was a rather great but yet someone had to spoil it...
pep talks blah2
the cadets who went for imt was like wow Part C (sec 3) and do not know the basics of shooting like wtf rite? I got to shoot moving target fun sia..
ouh ya we celebrated Qi Hui's Bdae aft IMT at JP Mac
then I left them went to meet ma peeps but not at our local cafe but this week at KFC..
then went to canal... i chill there wif rafiq shola hakim and the rest for till abt 11 +. i was suppose to top up my ezlink at 7-eleven but FISH machine not working i was like WTH.. so last resort i use coin.. Hate adult fare man sux big time...

Then today was my Cuzzies Wedding... I was the videoman for todays wedding... and i think most of my shots today quite Sux and alot of editting for me...
hmm
ya i met this girl that i told in one of my last yr post.. WoW she's hot ahaha
didnt get to ask for her contact number lols.... well it was great today get to hang out wif the groom for the whole not really best man but some thing of that sort..

pics soon...

L-O-V-E

I think i really learn what the word LOVE really means...
its really ermm rather subjective...
what i really know now is don't say i love you ifyou dont mean it.. to some i t has no meaning but others maybe...
its really sad to see what we think as a perfect couple but behind close doors??
so ya... i think i really have to change my ways start to do the right things..
just dont say it even if you think that you are ready... think it through...
if really love is always perfect y divorce rate is increasing..??

i believe im really going to search myself and figure out what i am going to do now...

well thats it for now

well till here then

to be continued

Finally a Job.

2008-01-14T23:40:00.000+08:00

A job.. like finally ahhaa

but only for 2 days...

well i was a soundman for 2 days at taman warisan for the 5th Heirloom Rejuvination Ceremony

Quite fun but rather tiring... and i miss wildcats outing and my other frens CCA opn hse like

what the fish...

1st day...

cam early in the morning set up and stuff the amplifiers mixers blah2...

after that i practically rot ahaa.. e best part i haven gotten enough sleep the past few day so i was feeling rather lethargic the whole day it was from 8 to 8...

the event was actually abt cultural and stuffs malay culture silat kuda kepang and keris and alot more....

The interesting part was only the the silat.. i was like wow didnt know silat was that fun... watch them sparring for real... each kick and punch was rather hard till u can hear each of it..

using parangs knife keris... all of it was rather sharp...

Met some of my 54th frens from CWES...

Then 2nd day

woke up arnd 9 then make my way to taman warisan again

this time was better cause i had enough sleep... so not that bad..

same thing like the 1st day setting up and stuffs.. just that my uncle brought along his lappy so was rather great more songs... and wireless there was rather good...

i learn how to use a Virtual DJ mixer.. gotta get it soon

its software.. rather useful also i learnt how to use mixers..

Then after that went straight to Toa Payoh to celebrate my dads bdae at Swensen

i had Sirloin Steak Soup of the day and Chocalate Crumb i think cant remember ahaha

then went home taking along bus ride from Toa Payoh back home..

Somehow things has not going my way...

plan ruined and results coming out soon

and NOT looking forward at all...

preparing for the worst..

A decent poly woulf be good..

ITE not so sure..

Not only that my love life ??

hmm no word to describe how i feel inside..

i

love

you

well thats it for now

If you must choose between someone you love and someone who loves you, always choose the one who loves you... because you can always learn to love someone, but you can hardly ever make someone else love you

well till here then

To be Continued

IVE BEEN PUNK'ED

2008-01-10T00:53:00.000+08:00

wth!
nvm Ignore e title...inside joke..

well tdy nthg much i think...hmm

woke up arnd 10 plus then saw my mum on the couch ehk??

chehh she's not working so i bathe and went out for lunch b4 making my wat to JE to meet shol and rafiq to go CMPB for rafiq's interview... ouh ya b4 i forget

let me present to u the newest addition in my goggles TADA!!

So ya thats my new specs quite cheap actually cost me abt 90 bucks... not my money of course

ahaha

lols...

ouh ya aft that had lunch and met up with rafiq and shol then make our way to CMPB...

1st time going there haha

nthg much we went in then change pass had to put phone in one of the small lockers then make

our way to Army recruitment Centre..

rafiq registered i and shol walk arnd the area look at stuffs...

waited.

we talk alot tdy mostly abt our dreams ahaha

GUARDS OFFICER.. ranks, formations ahah alot more

thats what u get when u put 3 military freaks together..

then make our way to e canteen then as usual lepak...

When to JE entertainment then ended up in JE library for no apparent reason

hang out chat took some pics ahaha till abt 830 b4 i make my way home

ouh ya had to use coins tdy arggh FCUK adult fare... suck big time...

As days passes by
the love just keeps growing in me..
dunnoe how long i can hold it...
The only thing i know
i'll always Love U..

Well thats it for now

well till here then

To be Continued

CCA fair

2008-01-07T23:18:00.000+08:00

post dedicated to u

hope this post makes u feel better gal...

<3

Well had cca fair last sat...

i wanted to update yestd but somehow cant log in into my account...

hmm well CCA far was great i guess nthg much... not many went into the ncc booth

My JVS Special Weapon And Tactics (SWAT) team did well for their camo

did manage to scare people with their camo faces ahaha

gd job guys...

Then aft that had lunch at KFC with my part Ds and some Part Cs..

chat 4 a while then hasiff rang me up...

so i and shol made our way to Clementi KFC to meet some of the wildcats

for no particular reason.. ahhaa hang out till aroung 5 and went home...

slept in the bus frm clementi all the way hme..

was suppose to meet fityan guys but too tired haha

yestd went Jamming with wildcats...

not very good we practically waste time i think cause we didnt plan properly and the singers were like all not good thats because im one of the singers

LOLS

tried my best haha

facedown was quite difficult to sing man..

ahaha and im not familiar with sum 41 With You

well aft jamming tracy shol and wini had to go off so left me, twin , Ys , sai ,syed and hasiff

made our way to JE entertainment..

had dinner at LJS

then went for pool

OK I SUCK AT POOL ahaha

went hme and wanted to update but CANT

dunnoe y stupid blog

ahahah

U thnks for waiting to read my blog

ahaha

take care and rest well k???

get well soon ...

I'll will always be dere for u k??

Well thats it for now

You know that place between asleep? The place where you remember your dreams? That's where I'll be waiting. That's where I'll always love you

well till here then

To be Continued

Happy New Year 'o8

2008-01-01T21:34:00.000+08:00

ok people...
hmm
alot to update on

WEST OUTING

outing was wow... one word AWESOME

haha but i came late

hehhee

star wat.. of late rite??

if i were to type out the whole outing

this would be a long post

let pics help to shorten this

here we go

here are only some of the pics

ahaha coz there are like hundred plus pics taken

hehehe

highlight of outing

CLT Aisyah's Bdae

Ppl injure themselves here and there

PASMESSTO ahhaha BAGUUSSS(inside joke)

sunburn

storytelling

stupid games

ya thats abt it

in other words

was FUN FUN FUN!!!

also

TIRED

I AM LEGEND

I am legend

hmm a must watch show but wif a very disappointing ending

but a great movie for me

cause its free ahaha

watch it with my YDO youth development officer of fityan

wif fahmi and my twin

didnt wanna go at first cause was tired and flat broke

so kinda hard for me financially

not working

arghh

applied for a job waiting for a reply

we"ll see how...

WELCOME 2008

A new yr where challanges are awaiting me...

some a challanges are worthwhile going thru but some are just there to destroy me...

2008

a new ticket to a newly open 2008 roller coaster ride

anyone care to join me on this ride???

hmm

i dunnoe happy sad???

only god knows how i feel inside

A new year but the word love

doesnt change in meaning...

it's still LOVE..

I just hope i can make the right decision...

Been dreadful for me just to make a right decision in many kind of situations

I LOVE YOU

Well thats it for now

If you love someone, don’t take them for granted. Treasure every moment with them and don’t ask why... just realize that you’re lucky and love them more

Well Till here then

To be continued

Wat A Tiring One..

2007-12-29T23:28:00.000+08:00

Another one..
Specially
For You
<3

Morn had training at teck whye sec..
wahh the sch quite nice.. new sch ma..
was suppose to meet fai and the rest at 730 CCK Mrt
the best part i woke up at 745 woohoo
slowy i bathe iron uniform
reach dere around 9 plus

came saw e others su cheryl syuk zaini helmi hamiz
walk around then help record vids till afternoon
teck whye wow need alot and i mean alot of improvements
details classified cheyy
hahahaa

LEPAKzz aft training
with everyone and Fahmy was one hell of a guy
funny like hell ahaha
went around disturbing ppl...
then eat talk with the others share exp abt ncc
then went home
was suppose to go for a gig FULL FLIGHT
but too tired went home and
SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPP!!!!!!
nice man..

i guess thats abt it for tdy
nthg much
ahhaha

ouh ya had canadian pizza for dinner
FULL

vids found on youtube
ACHMED

I still love you no matter what happens...
Let be the reason For you to smile k??
I LOVE YOU
<3

Well thats it for now

I wished on a star, every single night. I would never give up. I'd wish with all my might. Till finally I realized my wish came true, when you realized you loved me too

well till here then

to be continued

UpdATES People..

2007-12-27T23:55:00.000+08:00

ok hmm firstly
as usual
post is dedicated specially FOR YOU...
<3

i can finally do an eskimo rolll
ahahha
yeah
great feeling man
also had a bad exprience during kayaking
MUD
the tide was effing low

then
FOR Christmas day
when to my uncles place at Johor
he had house warming
as usual i help to cook and wash plates
darn...
had scratches here and there..
it was damn tired

on the way home bought DUNKIN Donuts
been a long time since i had one also a new ear piece for my phone..
didnt get to shop alot not like some one who went for holiday in KL
hehehee

For the record
I slept e whole day today
woohoo
now i cant sleep...
arghh

so ya thats abt it...

btw
anyone interested to join FITYAN ASSYAKIRIN (Assyakirin Mosque Youth Movement)
feel free to contact me..
=)

i really love u...
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

well thats it for now

I guess nobody does ever mean to fall in love. But it happens, and love brands itself on your brain. It’s like a new street appearing overnight in a city you’ve lived your whole life. The street is one way. You can’t turn around and get off, and it curves up ahead so that you can only see far enough to know that you’re heading into the unknown.

well till here then

To be Continued

Hmm... Selamat Hari Raya

2007-12-20T23:41:00.000+08:00

Ok...

this post is specially for u...

ahhahax

tdy was great

though didnt go raye much...

it was great for me...

ahahha

in the morning went for prayers...

came back then had breakfast...

had to wait for my father side to come ... evryine gathering at my plc...

great coz its raining and im sleepy ahahahx

while waiting i gave up and went to my room and visited lalala land...ZZZzzzZZZzzz

woke up and my house was chaotic.. wow...

then went to my uncles place had bbq mutton

damn shiok man haha fresh meat...

cooked to perfection...

then laze around before making my way home...

For the record all the gym and training went down the drain...

darned i gain back all the weight i loss... hahahx

Ok this is wat basically happen tdy ;)

I really Love you...

i dont know how i shud tell u this

but i really Love you...

dont ever want to lose u again...

unless u already have someone else in ur heart

Well thats it for now

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart

well till here then

To be continued...

I really Love her....

2007-12-19T23:26:00.000+08:00

The more i think...
the more it is making me crazy...
Should i follow my mind on heart???\
Am i lying to myself??
I dunnoe...
please dont make the same mistake again....

Ok well
hmm

had training At Nan Hua

wow and i tell u they all are bunch of great guys and girls...

really fun... most of them did not recognise me coz i was wearing contacts...

they only remember my goggles ahaha.x...

training was rather slack for a Gold unit

ouh ya

HAPPY BDAE TRACY TOH !!!!!

had tracy's bdae party then me and the rest of the wildcats plus the nan hua girls when for lunch.. Ouh ya the most impt thing... NAN HUA too have twins in their unit... ahaha yeah...

welll it was a great day i think... tiring too but fine with me...

Music to the ears... ahahhx

I really love you...

let me love you girl....

Well thats it for now....

Love has to be nurtured like the bud of a rose... waiting to emerge into something strong-willed and beautiful. If it’s ignored, it will wilt and die, like love that is taken for granted

well till here then

to be continued

I Love HER

2007-12-14T23:54:00.000+08:00

random pics

time passes so far without even us noticing it...
just 3 weeks and i got my rank... still got lots to learn...
long and i mean long way to go....
NCC-Education-Love-and a whole lot more...

NCC

it has been a great journey... and now im a cadet officer...
learnt alot...
before that credits to all who help me alot in my uncertain journey
frens too many to be named...
thnks guys...
for the record
To sholihin ahhaa
thnks a great fren leader
Cadet Captain?? we'll see how well i can go in my next phase of my life...

Education

well Os are already way over...
suddenly it came into me whether i could make it for next yr..
it has been a real roller coaster ride for me...
results been worst all yr long
Well now i have too redha and wait for whats coming for me
haiz

LOVE

for me everything hasnt going right for me...
dunnoe whether she is the one that is for me... cause maybe its true since all this while ive been
trying to find one but can never get someone to fill this heart... she is the light?? who knows
i hope that she feels the same way too... scared that i would lost her...
we lost contct once and only this yr then we cntct each other again...
how when shld i tell her... it feels to fast to tell that i love her....
just dunnoe how too put it in words... she may already have someone in her heart...
Ya Allah beri lah pertunjukMu.. Amin...
somehw or rather just have to live with it
i guess im in the same boat as my fellow comrades
"season of heartbreak" if she is not for me...

I LOVE YOU....

thts all i have too say
hope she know that this is for her...

well thats it for now

All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We chose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope... all the while wondering, if somewhere and somehow, there is someone searching for us.

well till here then

to be continued

Pride Passion Professionalism

2007-12-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

My Cert

Family Loved

Family First

Me and Tracy DURING PERFORMANCE

OK people IM BACK

ahahhaaha

54th clt was awesome
well some parts of it
cherish each moment of it
WILDCATS
Syndicate 5

credits to
CLT Sholihin
CLT Jack Fahmy
S/CLT Clement
S/CLT Khairul

too many things to tell
dunnoe where to start
hmm

well im the pioneer batch if the new system
no more cadet lieutenant course
its CADET OFFICERS COURSE

ahahahaha

pioneer batch ahahhaa power sia

to sum up
this course its all abt LEADERSHIP!!!!

really gonna miss it

Thnks S/CLT Khairul for the gift

i'll try my best to be a good and better cadet officer

other than that im now looking for a job...
maybe heading to the movies to look for one

maybe somewhere next week not sure...
to be conferm..
what i now i will only start aft the 25th

JOB JOB JOB

tmr still gotta go for NE ambassador course

tired

lastly

IM IN LOVE PEOPLE....
hahaha

well thats it for now

I could be anything in the world, I would be your tear drop. I want to be born from the love of your eyes, live on your cheek and be able to die on your sweet lips

well till here then

To be continued....

updates

2007-11-20T19:34:00.001+08:00

ok

firstly would be the 3 star training course...

man i messed up big time...

can't do a simple roll.... arghh man...

not so simple aft all...

also my hip and back are aching from all the edging and rolling...

Class chalet

Nthing much to talk abt..

usual swimming bbq then chill out by the beach at water breaker..

its quite boring since most of them went back home..

pics not with me yet still with hakim

and a chalet that i would neva forget...
(the Chicken)

And for the record...

For some reason i dont feel like going for my CLT course

im totally not excited but going for it...

Been asking myself whether which is which???

Is she the one???

I totally messed the whole situation

Losing evrything in this whole process

So leaving to fate...

It feels so wrong... I LIKE or I LOVE

lets hope it unfolds by itself

54th
PRIDE PASSION PROFESSIONALISM

Well thats it for now...

Falling in love for the first time is easy. It’s the second time around, after you’ve fallen and trusted that someone to catch you the first time and they didn’t, when it becomes difficult to let yourself fall in love again.

Well till here then

To be continued

GRADUATION NITE

2007-11-16T01:50:00.000+08:00

Grad nite '07

OK people

GRAD NITE WAS A BLAST

a slow start but a great ending to it...

Zul won MR JVS...

as expected hahax

it was his day

HAPPY 16th BirthDAE ZUL!!!

Well i really cherish each and every moment of it...

the whole grad nite was a bit draggy and slow

the food was so so..

regrets fo not getting to perform during the student performance

it was to the ending when we had to cheer for the MR and MS JVS

it was awesome... hahahx

here are some pics

??????

4E WOOHOO!!!!

We were once.....

My Best Bro
Ready To Strike
(Rakan Seperjuangan)

And lastly

im falling for her..

Well thats it for now

I think I love you. I think I love you, so what am I so afraid of? I'm afraid that I'm not sure of... a love there is no cure for. I think I love you. Isn't that what life is made of? Though it worries me to say that I've never felt this way. I love you

Well till here then

To be continued....

okay updates

2007-11-12T22:44:00.001+08:00

Ok the 1st event had already ended

i believe it was a blast.

most of things went well, most of it went as plan

a lil bit of cock up here and there overall its was a great event

pics of it have not taken yet from adila

After this event we're have to start on planning for year 2008 work plan.

For the record the letter has arrived..

BUT uncertainties.. DAMN

Gotta collect my uniform before anything happens

Hmm other than that i believe screwed up most of my plans
and it totally suck big time...

Dunnoe whether i can carry on to hold on to the ray of hope
or to continue the journey...
I believe i'll continue my journey
since i will only be remembered when problems come and no one to turn
guess who will be there...
me.

we'll see.. hope that no more problems for her and let her continue her happy life
:)

well thats it for now

I guess I thought you’d be here forever. Another illusion I chose to create. Don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone... and I found out a little too late.

well till here then..

To Be continued

okay updates

2007-11-12T22:44:00.000+08:00

Im SO SO SORRY

2007-11-06T23:18:00.000+08:00

Man i screw up...
seriously im sorry...
didnt meant to hurt you...
I guess i miss interpret it...
I take back what i said...
SORRY...

What a tiring day it has been....
Os over... Almost just one more paper...
and already bz with a whole lot of activity...
Hari Raya Gathering this thurs
and Kayaking
Plus CLT course
A whole of activity for me this nov...
i dont think im gonna work or maybe
still pending

Relationships..
I believe i always screw up all the time
Why can i just shut my mouth and let it go with the flow...
i really think i screw up big tyme...

SORRY....

Well Thats it for now

Im Really Sorry if i hurt You...

Well Till here Then

To be Continued

A Sincere Smile?

2007-11-05T22:03:00.000+08:00

It was to settle the voting forms...

when into the class

the first thing i saw was her...

bro told the class on the voting

and i collect the voting slips

she came to slot in the voting form and

gave me a weird smile???

OK

Its NOVEMBER and by looking at my calendar

its going to be a busy month for me..

I have class chalet, Grad Nite, 3 STAR kayaking and CLT Course...

Not forgetting the HARI RAYA BONANZA on the 8 of Nov

Which is this Thurs....

And IM SICK...great... hahx

oh ya

ITS ALMOST OVER...

Eng

Maths

Geog

SS

Malay

Phy P2

Chem P3

PoA P2

Targets DOWN..

I repeat Targets DOWN

Sci P1 And Poa P1 At sight

FIRE AT WILL

Well thats it for now

I made the choice to finally go because I can’t stand this pain. It’s time for my last tear to fall and try to move on WITHOUT YOU im my life...

Well Till Here Then

To Be continued...

what's next?

2007-10-28T23:26:00.000+08:00

And so its gonna be the end... very soon...
Its been a great but i guess i betta leave now
or this would end ugly...
Nothing much i can do now but just to stare on an empty ceilling
what can i do now? Regrets?
Its too late..
I have to carry on...
How bitter its gonna get?
Others might have to wait till next year
but for me i already know that its gonna be painful for me
I had try my best to plan out everything but sometime
the One and only up there decides everything...
I will try to repent my ways and change where i can
just to move on...
Its san after years spent trying to get myself a nice decent paper
after dropping one
I have to end this part of my life on a bad note...

Its a fact that I myself knew all along that its going to end this way
but still I ignore
Its really my fault i tried my very best to live to everyone expectation but
its too much for me...
Thanks to those who have helped me and those that tried to help

I thank you...

Its been a great journey but i guess i have to go...

well thats it for now

Just before I go, don’t you offer any sweet advice because where were all your shoulders when I needed them so long ago? And now with legs so weak and weary from this silly dance, with a suitcase full of memories, I pack my bags and slowly drift away

well till here then

To be Continued

Clearing Things Up

2007-10-25T00:39:00.000+08:00

ok...
I guess Im out..
Let them have their Fairy tale and i'll watch from here...
If they need help they will know where to find me...

It is all clear to me why this happen... maybe..
i dunnoe..
is there someone else waiting for me outdere or i am meant to end up like this
The more i try the more it backfires...

its been a hell of a ride.. lots of up and down for me...
my advice is dont dissapoint the second time aite?/

back to square one??/
Not really i think... just gotta try harder...

ok
Os now..
Chem down...
Eng Math Phy Geog SS Malay
Target At Sight
Fire At Will

Well thats it for now

I’ve learned that good-byes will always hurt, pictures can never replace being there, memories forget the hard times, words can never replace feelings, and heroes often go unsung.

well till here then

To be continued...

Its kinda late.. hahax

2007-10-18T21:38:00.000+08:00

Well it has way past e first day but wth...

SELAMAT HARI RAYA
MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

salah silap terkasar bahasa
terpukul termaki terkutuk
dan segalanya yang TER
Mohon ampun dan maaf zahir batin

Update soon...
NEW Com giving problem

Well thats it for now....

I really LOVE You... Please Let me your one and only Yours Truly...

Well Till Here Then

To Be Continued

Its Supposed To End

2007-10-04T21:57:00.000+08:00

My plan for next week all ruined.
It was supposed to be last day for me tmr BUT
just now we were informed that all the sec 4s and 5ns have to come to school next week
AS PER NORMAL.

WTF??!??!?!?

well everyone was piss but for some it was only for a short time..
after Mr Thomas talk to the sec4s suddenly everyone like dont mind coming (For some)
I was like F-ing away inside...
Being deprived of the holiday and free time...
Y bother coming to school but sleep RITE?

I just dont understand??!!!??? During the address by Mr Thomas inside AVA he made sound so nice... he said that next week its like giving evryone the last push or smthg like that...
WTH?
well i admit that my results are very bad... but at least they shud let us study ourself and if we need help we can come to sch to ask for help from the teachers.

Where is the fairness...
Let say if i dont mind coming but at least have a condensed time table for us...

And i just dont get it why there are some that dont mind...
Ameerul actually thought of rebelling next week...
the whole class not coming to sch but
By the look of it evryone dont mind...

F-UP Big time...

ARGHHHHH

The best part was amidst of all this crap there was no sign of Mr Shawal.
there was only Mr Thomas that doing the job...
its like our sch do not have a principal at all..

PS: to all that dont mind this crap of the extentsion of sch for Sec 4s/5ns and are willing to come to school next week... U guys really mcm pa...

Well thats it for now...

Though we are not really talking to each other now...

there is onlt you in my heart

I LOVE YOU

Well till here then...

To be Continued

Should i?

2007-09-30T22:18:00.000+08:00

A whole lot of uncertainties playing in my mind.

can't think straight for this few days since...

Follow my heart? Follow my mind?

Lets just hope that she don't think that i am some kind of d.

.....

Is it a goodbye? Let the nature decide...

?????

well thats it for now

I dont know which is worse,You opening up a not yet healed wound,Or opening up a healed one..

I Love You =]

Till here than

To be Continued

Half-Way Mark

2007-09-26T22:11:00.000+08:00

Okay...

Its 15 Ramadan 1428h...

Its official... we reached the half way mark...

15 more days and the Blessed month ends....

insaflah wahai insan

havent been a a great ramadan for me...

Dugaan dtg bertubi-tubi...

O lvl + + + +

Smthng unexpected happen kinda ruined my plan...

i'll try to tell...

well thats it for now...

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always will be yours. If it never returns, it was never yours to begin with.

Till here then...

To Be Continued...

where to?

2007-09-24T20:35:00.000+08:00

ok people...

things had been going right for me this whole time...

No wonder it really felt so wrong...

Cause I was feeling way too damn good....

Its either I have to act fast with this

Or wait till the time come for me to tell her...

and her problems lessen...

For now, i just want to be there for her...

Well thats it for now...

I will always LOVE you

No Questions on that =)

Till here then

To Be Continued

Ended.

2007-09-22T11:01:00.000+08:00

1and so prelims are over...
and its now race to the finish...
been a hack of a ride...
the LAST stretch...

Updates...
i got my self a new headphone... thnks to Arai..
Her Pics...Yeah...

Yest.. went out wif her... kinda actually...
went to KFC for buke... but the 3 of us not really in any nood to eat...
the Ncc guys was there... it spoiled Her appetite... and for hafaz,his sop was there.. In the end we didnt finish our buke... went to 7-eleven bought Her chocs...
then lepak at playgrnd...

Hope.

well thats it for now...

ingatkan engkau kepada embun pagi bersahaja yang menemanimu sebelum cahaya
ingatkan engkau kepada angin yang berhembus mesra yang kan membelaimu cinta

I LOVE YOU <3

Well till Here Then

To Be Continued

Ramadhan

2007-09-16T21:53:00.000+08:00

Its been 4 days since we start our fasting month...

To all muslims

SELAMAT BERPUASA..

Been an interesting week for me...

-Her-

well Thats it for now

Everything will be okay... dont worry I will always be there for you no matter what happens...

Ramadhan Menginsafkan kita Kesusahan Mereka Semua

So till here then

To be continued

Uncertainties

2007-09-06T13:00:00.001+08:00

Something seems to be not right??? or issit??
the closer i try to be with her the further we are drifting apart...
Is she for me? or we're just not meant to be....
its just me being lame all the time or dunnoe how to treat girls well.
ahahhax

dun even know y am i posting this.
i hope there are signs for me to follow through...
and not just false hope that i am hanging on right now...

If keep thinking bout her in anything or everything i do.
issit love or just smthg normal??

Hope.

Well thats it for now

So till here then

To be continued..

AOH 2007

2007-09-04T12:56:00.000+08:00

MEDALS

Carrying 26kg SPIKE missile and a MATADOR

Ready To Strike - GUARDS

Me with National Day Parade Sergeant Major MWO C Y Chong

Some pics of Army Open House 2007...
It was an exprience that i would not forget easily...
Went there for 4 times how can i forget rite?? ahahaha

Went of Thursday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday.

Thursday
Went with JVSS NCC...
Didnt do much on thursday just go there recce the whole open house...
ahaha... walk around and rain spoilt it.. + others... but im totally okay with it... there's no need for the sorries...

Friday
Teachers day... so didnt make a trip to AOH.... when back to Shuqun... met up with Farhan, Muhaimin, Susila, and alot more... Also not forgetting making a new friend... Susi's bestie Afira...
was a great day... though didnt met up with a lot of teachers but we i enjoy most of it...
Lepak at Mc Spring CC till abt 6+ then at Lake Park till 8 B4 making my way home

Saturday Sunday Monday
AOH for all the three days....

On Saturday i went with My twin Hakim Haiqal Susila Rafiq And Shari... Afira was actually going but last minute cant make it...
All of us make ou way to AOH at abt 9+ we are like the first few people...
So go around the whole area... did IPPT, Flying Fox which totally not fun... Life Fire SAR21,
a ride on M113, SMT, IMT... basically we did everyting there... half way Susi and Hakim had to go home...
So the rest of us decided just to walk around... got ot know a whole of people... LTA Sharril at the 9Div booth A commando cant remember whats his name SM for 2SIR my hometown Amoy Quee Camp 2WO Amran... one look at him you will now why 2SIR can win the best infantry unit...

Sunday i went for about half day just to temankan Hakim and Rafiq to collect alot more badges...
I did some of the same things again Life fire... walk around the exibit... and ya the same things

Monday i did follow my mum and my cuzzies although im dead tired... went there and i was like paiseh... walk around the area and some of the people theres said you again... ahahha
well told my mum everything that i noe on each exibit... already like a tour guide there...
aahhaaha... walk around again as usual b4 finally making my way home...

And there we have it... my Journey for AOH 2007....

well Thats it for now

Everything I have ever done has been for you... everything in me is you.

I LOVE YOU

so till here then

To be continued...

Passed On

2007-08-28T22:57:00.000+08:00

And So its been three days since my grandmother pass away...
everyone in my family is coping well with it...
Life has to go on... Evryone feel the lost... but its all fated....

For myself its been okay... but hectic trying to stay up in class makesure not to slp...
Started revising on my work... and i think i got back my motivation... hope she stays with me till the end... its been great just smsing....

So this is wat happen since my grandma pass away...

Sun
hectic morning woke up change went straight to my grands place settle all the stuff...
it rain for awhile in the morning but lucky it stopped aft Zuhur...
Went to the cemetery... went back for tahlil...then went home...

Mon
Went to sch for Sci Prac.... i screw up my prac because did not read instruction.
then went to makan shiok with the rest for breakfast... then gym with hakim....
at night went to Masjid Alkmukmin bace Yasin for nisfu Syaaban....

Today....
as usual tues is a relax day for me... lessons as usual... last three hangout at comp lab 4 with F&N students... Aft Sch stand arnd at concourse b4 making my way home...
Then went for nite class... which i felt that i didnt do anything at all...
Went to JP with hakim ama and shaf to look for rekindling candle for teachers day...

NOW
Trying to figure out wat to do??? ahaahaa...
study study study....

well thats it for now

I will always love her... i hope she feel the same way to.

When I first saw you, I felt love. And the first time you touched me, I felt love. And after all this time, you’re still the one I love

This is For You _ _ _ _ _

Till here Then

To be continued

back again

2007-08-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

I think i just missed my chance. She has always been the one. But not for me. Are those signs for me or someone else. Issit me or im just a fool believing that those signs are about me. I will have to wait. and wait and wait....

Other than that hmm....

I think Mugging session has arrived. O lvl candidates starting to head for libraries, fast food restaurants for grp studies/ self-studies. As for me got alot to think abt not just Os but my future. NO DPA, B3 for my MT Os (need to retake) not prepared for Os... SOS...

...---...

Alot had been happening.

I guess pics would help me shortened my entry.

I was Part of it... Man it was great... She was there too but didnt saw her...

Other than That i enjoyed my NATIONAL DAY....

And the my pics is at Young NTUC website...

http://www.youngntuc.org.sg/gallery/index.htm#

Go to the link and click on National 2007.. and u will find me hahaahx..

Friday is X country and im not running WOOHOO.. Down for duty... as Advisor for my part C...

Now... Mugging... =X

Well Thats it for now

If you’re sweet and sincere, I’ll call you my Dear. If you’re kind and funny, you’ll be my Honey. If you’re caring and smart, you can be my Sweetheart. If you possess all of the above, then you’ll be my True Love.

-This is for her-

Till here than

To be continued

Soon

2007-08-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

Dunnoe whether there are people visiting my blog.

Update Soon...
Connection Prob 4 the tyme being

Peace

I am Gifted.

2007-07-29T04:39:00.000+08:00

I am Gifted So are YOU!

As u can see from the pic, i went through the three day course. I tell you it was damn worth the money that i paid for the course. I learnt more about myself.

Also not to forget, th most important thing that i realise is to loving my parents. Plus how we take the simple pleasures of life for e.g. school.

Everything that we do its all in the mind. If u give ur 100% in anything u do. BELIEVING that u can do it. Not just TRYING. Its going to be fine.

I hope that i can change and this motivation can last not only till Os but ma whole life......

Other than that.

My Mum and Cuzzie (Kak Ayu).

Guess what my Cuzzie got engaged. WOO HOO...

Congrats.. Well my whole family and i are so happy for her... well hope it gonna last forever.Insyallah...

to sidetrack a lil bit... I saw this gorgeous girl at my cuzzie engagement just now.. she kept looking at me for no apparent reason..(im serious) ahhaa... too bad didn't had chance to get to know her or get her phone number....DAMN...ahahax... hope to see her soon anywhere....

Well thats it for now

There's more than meets the eye. I am here. I am waiting for YOU

Well Till Here

To Be Continued

Confused

2007-07-22T01:41:00.000+08:00

I must be the most stupid guy ever....
she was right there... well not meant to be
it was so near yet so far.
20070707

hmmm
I have watch Harry Potter Order Of Phoenix.
movie was okay. Alot of missing part. Should read the book.
Also I know what happen for the last book....

what i can say is that Harry Potter Lived.

Other than that nth much... smthg i thought had ended started again.
dunnoe what i mean refer to my post on April 27, 2007

Now
gotta complete my vids for kayaking expediton presentation for assembly....

well thats it for now.

-im head over heels about her-

Well till here

To be Continued

SIXTEEN

2007-07-15T21:55:00.000+08:00

And So im sixteen...

nth much happen on my bdae last fri....

thnks to all who wish me...

Appreciate each and every bdae wish lots

Each of it means alot to me...

THANK YOU....

well thats it for now

I can’t cry hard enough for you to hear me

Well till here

To be Continued....

Updated.

2007-07-11T21:36:00.000+08:00

My Pride and Glory

Nth much happen this pass few days...

just that NCC DAY OVER... and it was a great one... though im not in the lime light still im proud of it.. i dont have the pics at the moment.. if u wanna see some of it kindly visit http://www.apit125z.blogspot.com/ (rafiq's blog) sori fiq ....

also i wanna thank my guys for coming to show your support for the jvss crew last sun....

pratically the whole crew was there CLT Yue Han West Ensign, MSG Rafiq his Escort, myself School flag bearer, not forgetting CLT Sholihin and CLT Hanafi Traffic duty..

it was great....

On mnday nth much happen just that,

had O Lvl MT oral... DAMN i did bad for it... argggghh...

didnt come to sch on tuesday... slack at home the whole day.. great...

Just now hmmm... got back chem cls test and i flung it as usual and phy test just now also the same fate... i really need help with CHEM and PHY... anybody willing to help??? HELP PLS... give me a call or msg me... really need help...

on top of that, just now i went for Monopoly comp POA style for Humanities week... and i won ahhaahah great man...

btw

i have my link list already if u wan me to link u guys leave ur url at my tag box aite....

NOW....

just got back frm night class and need to do the kayaking vids again haizzz

and for the record

SAVE THE EARTH!!! the 3 R....

well thats it for now....

That is the first thing I had to learn about her and maybe the hardest I’ve ever learned about anything—that she is her own, and what she gives me is of her own choosing and more precious because of it. Sometimes a butterfly will come sit in your open palm, but if you close your hand, one way or another it and it’s choice to be there, is gone.

well Take care aite

TO be Continued.....

SAVE THE EARTH

2007-07-07T19:22:00.000+08:00

Cmon people SAVE THE EARTH

Just by Reduce Reuse Recycle

YOU can Save The EARTH..

EVERYBODY has a part in this

So what are you waiting START NOW

well

thats it for now

Heal the world Make it a better place For you and for me And the entire human race There are people dying If you care enough for the living Make it a better place For you and for me
-Micheal jackson-

Till Here

To bE ConTinued

Back Online.

2007-07-06T00:39:00.003+08:00

Family's Pride and Joy

A hectic week for me. Alot of work to do. Night class to attend. Meeting with Exco members.
what a week.
At last can update...(AYIE NAHH aku update ni)

Feel tired and lethargic whole week.
Done alot of things esp catching transformers last Sat midnight show.
Transformers storyline okay but effects was superb...

Other than that, everything in sch is fine i guess.. normal....
and now im trying my best to go home straight aft sch for no apparent reason..

O lvl is just arnd the corner...

NOW...
Just finish filing my geog file.... gonna pack my back
then heading for LALALA land..hahaa

Hmm
Well That's it for now

When there seems like there is no one left to run to in this empty world of ours, you can come to me and I will be your shooting star. You can tell me your dreams. I can’t promise that I can make them come true, but I will be there to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, if your dreams happen to fall through.

Well Take care people

To be continued

.......

2007-06-24T18:36:00.000+08:00

Tired

Angry

Pissed

Sad

Stress

Sorry

Back.

2007-06-20T22:56:00.000+08:00

So ya im back...
its been sometime since i last update...
Alot had happened...
But the part is that I have 3 of my NCC guys Winning Award...
the part is they are all under my charge...
What great leader i am (so not true)
Cant believe actually....

Other than that i basically have TONS and TONS of work that needed to be done and completed.
homeworks, presentation video and alot more..
and i have way past the deadline for my work.. Shits...
And also presentations to do which i totally suck at it... keep having errr ahhh emm in my presentation rehearsal... ARGhh...
To make it worst the presentation is to the whole teachers on staff meeting AND to the whole school on the kayaking expd...

Also i have mosque activities meeting and events to attend to at the same time...
PLUS i have not done my revision for Os.... 3 Mths away... and still haiixxxxxzzz

and ya i forgot to mention i have rehearsals to attend for NCC Day....
Damn... ALOT to do... so little time..

hmmm...
well thats it for now...
update soon....

Love is the one treasure that multiplies by division. It is the one gift that grows bigger the more you take from it. It is the one business in which it pays to be an absolute spend thrift. You give it away, throw it away, empty your pockets, shake the basket, turn the glass upside down, and tomorrow you will have more than ever

Well take care guys...

TO be continued

>

2007-06-14T18:01:00.000+08:00

Will Update soon....
kInda bz at the moment wif alot of stuff...

well take care....