Another ray Of Light

*cough cough*

Woah hmm sorry abit dusty here and there..

yeap im back... 

Ok well due to the busy and of course lazyness! hah

thats y i have NOT been updating yeap...

well its been a hell of a ride here and there and all... Mylife has never been this interesting.. getting screwed all the time... its been always my mistake.. haiizz.. 

You might see a sudden mood change in this post... so yeah

commitments commitments and more commitments....

yeap thats what been happening so far... looking at the brighter side of things....

sch ended like YEAH!! 

hoping for a nice gpa this time around... and a new ray of hope.. elaborate soon i think... 

taking it slow.. and this time really must! i will not repeat the mistake that i had made in the past.. 

ouh the darker side of things... ive been busy with NCC which i dont know whether it should be good of bad?? wonder...

let me list donw the list that i am down for NCC...

Camp Feast

Spec Course 

COC course

Inter Sch Soccer tornament

Trainfires*

Imt*

Range*

* the last three its like maybe.. cause i might be lazy to for it..

Bottom line Im gonna burn My HOLS!!! ARGHH 

and yeap my whole March Is gone.. *poof*

still at the back of my mind... am i spending to much time with ncc... hmm i wonder...

now updates on life

ahaha

I just realise its been sometime i EMO-ed... and it feels good or wierd i should say... being use to all the emoing and all the crapness... its been a while i feel that way... 

I supposed its good right???

and my fitness has gone down the drain! *poof* due to the unhealthy life im leading... 
FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD! been wasting money on Fast Food and im paying the price now!! Coughing flu blocked nose.. kinda like a package.. a complete one i should say.. and still im goinf for NCC ahahaah beats me...

Friends ermm well my WJLA bros we're like fine i think?? i so miss hanging out with my bros~! arghh evryones busy with life now... well as for shol and helmi its TP for them nex Mon GOOD LUCK guys.. rafiq busy with mesjid and sch... while hashim with school too. and me NCC my Bro Silat i think?? and not to forget new editon to the WJLA crew syukor busy with i dunnoe? hahaha

im so need to get a life!!! 

personal note... im broke and jobless... HELP!!! 

Suppose to work for this hols... and im so smart to applied for COC course .. how smart i can be!! DAMNED!

Not only that i thought of spending more time with my Mesjid activities in the end it went the other way more and more NCC?? ..... 

On a serious note.. 

Im quite confuse with myself on setting my priorities... sigh.. its been one lonely journey.. and actually in reality right now im leading a life with no vision... actually ive been running away from reality! 

well yeah as of now... i think im clueless of what to do and all... things been going smoothly for some of the things which aint right...  

well i doubt i still can live with this line any more although its true...

In Life Shit Happens- Just Flush It Away

i so doubt it... cause i dont think i can jsut flush certain things away... cause if i were to that i will let my fear strike me out from playing with my own life...

i think... and 

still the best for me would be

NO SACRIFICE NO VICTORY

People always things why me why me... now i will have to say why not me??? no use running away from reality.. like they always say reality bites... so ya just bite it. then?

sighs...

To think of it i was the one with the itchy mind who did all this to myself the commitments and all

i guess i still cant get over the fear of being the last on the "food chain"...

i was looking thru and reflecting on stuffs i realise that the fear of being and outcast lonely guy ist still inside me... the one who always being pushed around my others... ordered and mocked at.. the fear is so coming back...

well during my campfeast well yeah i enjoyed u know laughing at some guy due to pronounciation problem.. but to think of it.. if i was in the person shoe which i think im am just that my problem is not really that obvious but does it?? im not sure nvm back to this incident..

ya.. felt quite bad mocking at people difficuties... well guys think about it...

other than that..

i was on my way home when i saw this old lady working at this coffee shop near my place... and not only her but now there's alot of old folks out there working their butt off making me realise 

how selfish i have been...

when my parents is working hard for me and my brothers... while we especially me spending like no one business... haizz...

this is the part where i ask myself whether is good for me to continue my ncc stuff or get ajob and start supporting myself so that my parents wont really feel the pain of having to give me money and all...

i feel so ashamed and shitty right now... people around me are so affected with the recession and economy crisis while im here still spending money!!!

tell me how selfish i am!!...

im so down now....

I saw another light while i was walking into another light... so which path should i take...? should i take the path that can make me smile all the time and confortable talking and being around this light or this other path where i still be happy and smiling away but just that wont be as much comfortable due to the diffrent in background and all....

thats why another ray of light...

I think its enough for now and will try to promise myself to update regularly from now on...

Well thats it for now

Sometimes your nearness takes my breath away; and all the things I want to say can find no voice. Then, in silence, I can only hope my eyes will speak my heart.

Till here then

to be continued...