After a good story telling the other day... i realise that what im trying to do is basically not helping me at all... well i have yet to share the full story behind the whole thing... nevertheless after a good reflection im just a plain stupid... now i know why... i think...
All the insecurity is building up inside me...
I always ask why me and not them and its been always about me or not???
Then people start telling me why ask 'why me?' why not ask 'why NOT me?' and in the end i will start contradict myself again and again without fail!!! and there maybe a reason why i have failed in love or why love failed me... this past few weeks have been and eye opener and i must see things in different perspective from now on...
Alhamdullilah...
after all this mess i realise that all this problem is given by Him Allah s.w.t... so why not i refer back to him like what 'Ustaz' Hashim our dear WJLA bro always say... as a good muslim we must always remember that all this obstacle and problem is from Him so we as humble servant must always remember him 24/7... A good example would be your teacher gave u an assignment and when you do not know how to do it, we dont bother to ask your teacher the one who gave the assignment but you ask your friend who your teacher gave the same assignment to do... So its a now use i f i have a problem eg this love shit... ya ... and i go all over asking people for opinion yes is ok but I forget that the one who decides is Him... So ya.. u get me??
I havent been a good humble servant... and still i procrastinate day after day but in actual fact we do not have the time at all... Insyaallah from now on I will try my very best to do things that we have been told to do as a humble servant... like the simplest of 5 prayers a day i cant a even do it... Im A Sinner and its time to change.. Insyaallah...
Tuhanku aku tidak layakuntuk syurgaMu
tetapi aku tidak pulasanggup menanggungseksa nerakaMu
dari itu kurniakanlahampunan kepadaku
ampunkanlah dosaku
sesungguhnya Engkaulah pengampun
dosa-dosa besar
And maybe this is the reason why things havent gone my way... maybe this is the reason...
Ustaz Fatris Bakaram once said that Allah will always remember you and Is your duty to remember him.. And When U Forget about Him and He will Remember U and Then Forget About U..
Think about it..
Well now i just hope that I Allah will give His hidayah to me... and be a better Muslim Insyaallah...
Its been a wild journey and I will keep my feelings inside me... No use rushing to things... well all this is exprience i guess thats why we have people at the age of 16 or so already a couple and stays that way 20 30 years later...
If you are fated to be together then you will be... If not then too bad... cause it just wont happen...
and the result this... Impulse decision and everything is true love to you because you cant make up your mind... each time there is a little spark between you and a girl... its love... well thats why there was one time I so call fell for my best friends and nearly destroy the friendship... 10 years of friendship could have been destroyed by a stupid feeling called Love...
gotta be sure of my decision now... no more impulsive decision... To my WJLA bros... do me a favour by reminding me of my stupidity or what not... thats y we are bros for rite?? lets all be a good muslim together me make a diffrent but still make people happy to get what i mean?? haha
Its been nice... and i hope that all this will happen and no more procrastination no more...
Its time for a change....
No Sacrifice No Victory
well thats it for now
No matter what happen or what going to happen next... this feeling is still inside me... I will keep it in my heart as my little wonders of life...
Well till here then
To Be continued...
