Everything seems fast for me...without me knowing it has been 4yrs in JVS...
All the things that i have done doesnt seem to go my way... NCC, my Studies, love life and many more... its just too fast...all ends before i know...
In all the 4 yrs in JVS what have i gain...hmm
NOTHING... since sec 1 till now... go to sch, NCC or even other stuff... people just hate me... WHY?? dont ask me... i myself cant figure out... the more i try to run the more it hurts me... frm me having dunnoe what problem with mariah...Why must I say sorry when i did nothing wrong but still i apologize for dunnoe what reason but... still it goes on..also people mocking at me just because i cant pronounce R properly... issit a big deal?? Then mock abt my teeth... calling me names... Gigi, Square, Spongebob And a lot lot more... asked the people that make fun of me they should have alot more...Just what did i do to them?!?!?!? Come to think of it i got no problem with all the people that mock at me or calling me names... they make fun of me i just laugh together with them... people in my class should abt this better... there is always something about me to laugh about... What if u guys are in my shoe?
Then when got problem or got no one to talk to then come and look for me... I dont mind lending my ears to let u guys share ur problem... but what do i get after i help more mocking and making fun of me... It doesnt pay to be helpful... do u like to be pushed around?? U guys think i laugh together with u guys when u mocked at me it seems fun right... u all jus do not how hurting for me to laugh at myself...
well same goes for me... i know my mistake but everytime i try to change myself there is always someone that pulling u back...
if i could turn back the time... i will try to change history... it all started during sec 1 after orientation camp... it goes on for all the 4 yrs in JVS... Luckily i have NCC... i thought i could leave my footprints there... it just didnt happen for me... only a SSG... issit big... its no for me... it seems that everything i do its wrong... my twin bro... he gets everything frm USM to a TOP 10% cadet in NCC...SUPERNUMERARY... FRIENDS...a stable Education... ME?? NOTHING...
N-O-T-H-I-N-G... i have try my best to carry out my responsiblility... but too bad for me... i just cant seem to do it...
today is actually my last day of training... but for some reason i just cant let my step down... i still need to teach my sec 3s... i try asking others to help.. but what did they say... its my job... why must i do this things when it was suppose to be done months ago...reason being speech day... WTH... If they were to plan everything properly it wouldnt be much problem... so now because of their mistake i hvae to suffer the consequence... than who gets the credit... NOt me THEM... aft all these 4 yrs... this is what i get aft being mock make fun blah blah blah...
U guys just do not no me... i just hope i cant end everything so that i could do well for my Os and carry on with my life...
well i f i want to regret it will be a waste of tyme... just need to pull myself together and finish this last lap of my race in JVS...
I just hope i have the support if not something to make u guys realise what i have gone through in MY 4yrs of SHITS in JVS...
wanna know more ask me....
PS:this is not complaining or being dramatic...i am just stating facts of mylyfe... if u think all this is lame shit its fine with me....
TAKE CARE PEOPLE...
To be continue---------
